Thoughts & hopes.

2011-01-28T01:27:00.002+08:00

It's been awhile i last let out my thoughts here. This blog has alot of memories. More particularly, my poly life. From my W35F days, to being in W36B. Then, tumblr came along & this blog was long forgotten. Sometimes, people tend to forget old stuff when the new ones kick in. But, like they say, old is gold. & I'm grateful enough that I did not delete this blog of mine because I know that people won't be reading this now anyways. It became obsolete. But sometimes, it's just feel good to write, to let it all out, when you really need to. & that's what I lack nowadays.

I guess I've been bottling up all these feelings in me for so long. It started with just something personal, with my mummy/daddy issues at home. I'm never the one among the clique who gets freedom. At least adequate freedom for the adequate age. & to be frank, at 18, my freedom's limited. Maybe because the environment that moulded me to who i am now.

Since young, there's so much expectations. A God-given talent, I guess. I know I should be thankful & I am. But these expectations slowly turned into burden, as i caught up with age. Always conscious of every single move I make, feel like I've been watched all the time. My parents would most probably be thinking it's a good thing to keep me outta trouble & I gotta agree with that. But, it started to control me slowly, it became a phobia. A phobia of being judged. To live up to all of this, I started having double personalities, had 2 groups of different friends. Everyone does that. Don't you?

But, as I grow up, found love, picked up more responsibilities, re-ignited a life-long passion sometimes make me regret of the choices that I make in this once given life. I try so hard to find myself. Try to strike a balance in everything. I forgot my own life principle: You can never make everyone happy. But, as time goes own, with so much to face, all you want to do is to make everyone happy. Why? So, that you don't have to deal with guilt. Fucking guilt. You try every single thing in the book, make time for everything, thinking that you're able to do this. Even to the point of lying to keep everyone happy. But, one thing a normal human forgets, one ain't superhuman. There's no fucking way you can make everyone happy. Everyone's different. Everyone has their own ideas. & Don't even try to fucking read their minds & expect everything's right. History proved itself. That's why Soviet Russia ended up getting attacked by Nazi Germany.

Ahmad, you thought you could balance your life. But no. You failed, you fucking failure. & now here you are, reflecting back whether you made the right decisions. Where did it go wrong. Is it wrong to pursue your own dreams & passions? Why preach when you don't practice? Have you done enough to re-pay all the love they've given to you? You're losing your mind. Slowly but surely. But, you gotta keep it straight everything in life happens for a reason. Ah yes. You cannot control destiny, you let it take it's course. But it ends up derailing.

Now everyday, you end up faking a smile to everyone. You have to make up your fucking mind. Do you love her? Then, you have to sacrifice. But, you've sacrificed so much in life. People can say they understand, but, no, they don't. Only you understand yourself. She said she'll learn to adapt. Until when? Will you be able to live up to expectations again, Ahmad? Or you'll just end up a dissapointment again. You promised one too many, asshole. You promised so much to her, but you never fucking delivered. & you call yourself her boyf. Dude, get a fucking life man. You don' deserve it. She sacrificed alot for you & all you can say is sorry? What's wrong with you man? There's so many other guys out there who's much better than you. You can't even tell her that you don't want her to adapt, you want her live with it. To accept it. To you adapting is okay. But, adapting won't last long. You want her to sacrifice for you, but can you sacrifice for her? If not, then why are you doing this to her man. Ass.

Make up your mind man. NOW. Start planning. Life, Love, or Passion?

Just needed that.

2010-08-03T22:14:00.003+08:00

Hello people!

Ya, time for a post. So, I just returned from gamelan. Yeah. Gamelan is like my life now. Like how band used to be during secondary school days. Ever since I'm the vice president for my IG, it's been kinda hectic for me. Proposals, Deadlines, Meetings, Practice. So ya, my life in school nowadays is most at the time in classroom and gamelan room. Hahahaha. Practice ain't so bad. We're still in search for the perfect repertoire for our Reflections 2010 item this coming November. 11th November to be exact. Practice has been on full throttle (right word to use?).Ya.

So, for my post this time, I'm gonna cover an issue which might be familiar to some of you who might have read my old blog. Well,for the past 2 weeks, I've been shocked with the passing of 2 great people. Firstly, was my dear uncle, busu Azli, who was actually my mum's cousin. He passed away 2 weeks ago. Then, yesterday, got another shocking news of someone whom I just met also 2 weeks ago. That was like the first & last time I got to meet him. His name's Cak Dur. I don't really know him well but he's the one who thought my mum parents a lot on religion during their younger days. What was shocking was that the both of them passed away at an age which you least expect. (My uncle's going to be 40 this year, while Cak Dur was in his late 40s.) Well, it's really scary, frankly speaking. I mean people just leave you in the blink of an eye when you least expect it. For my uncle's passing, I felt that my nenek really felt it a lot since he was one of his favourite nephews. He's the one who usually will leave 1 whole carton of milo drink boxes for my family or dates every single time the fasting month arrives, without fail. Someone who's very caring and loving towards his children, gone. I really couldn't hold back my tears during the burial, when his innocent 4 year old son, hand in hand with his grandfather, asking why his daddy was covered in soil when he's "sleeping". And the cries of his mum, telling each and everyone present that her son was a good person. The greatness of a mother's love. Subhanallah. That really broke my heart. I just couldn't hold back my tears. Suddenly, everything I did with my family just came flashing back in my mind. Suddenly, I wonder, what happens during my turn? Will I be able to face death? Face the questioning in the grave by the angels? That incident really got me thinking.

Well, The holy month of Ramadan is approaching really soon. I get excited usually when I was younger not because of fasting but because what's after that. Hahahaha. But, as I grow, I the happiness ain't the same anymore. Well, basically due to the fact that both of my grandfathers have passed on & also this time my uncle. But, what I really like about the month of Ramadan is the spirit. Going for Terawih prayers at night until your feet ache, the Ramadan bazaars, Ngaji and Qiyamulail which is totally fun because I get to meet up with friends whom I knew since we were still in diapers and sucking on milk bottles. Then, the last night, waiting for the announcement for Hari Raya. Just one of a kind experience which I cannot get at any other time of the year.

Ramadan yang mulia menjelma lagi,
Namun kau pergi, meninggalkanku di sini,
Tetap ku tabah mengharungi onak dan duri hidup ini,
Biar ku berharap, namun kenyataannya pasti,
Dirimu takkan kembali lagi.

Ku tadahkan tangan, Ku sedekahkan doa,
Moga kau aman di sisi Yang Maha Esa,
Ramadan ini kita tidak akan bersama,
Kan ku ingatimu selamanya.

I guess that's about it.
I'm done. (:

2010-07-31T22:46:00.003+08:00

Hello blogosphere! Wow. Ya, I know it's been awhile since I last blogged here. It's been quite some time I actually updated this blog of mine & yes, this blog held lots of memorable moments throughout my poly life so far. Lots of stuff happened for the last 4 months. Wowwwwww. I abandoned my blog for 4 months. Well, it was kind of a transition for me from blogging to tumblr. Butttt, lots of things happened within this 4 months of absence. Well, I know I update tumblr regularly due to my hectic schedule, but, I miss the satisfaction of letting out all my feelings here in my blog.

Well, ya lots of things changed within the 4 months. I'm currently in year 2 as a student of Republic Polytechnic. Life as a student is kinda complicated right now as we start to get the "real deal" - learning modules which are related to my diploma. So far, I think i'm kinda screwed for nearly all of my modules. I aced in Quality Management module. I kinda like the module but I really hated the faci, who's kind of a douche seriously. But, ohwells.

I'm doing average for my Physics module. Frankly speaking, I'm pleasantly surprised that I am able to cope with Physics since it has been my all time nemesis since secondary school. This is the only class which I learn together with the students from SAS. They are really a bunch of inquisitive people. A group of workaholics & mind you, they are damn smart man! Hats off to these group of people man. I mean, they've helped alot in helping me understand this module.

I'm kinda interested in aircraft materials though I got a freaking F for my UT1. But, I'm starting to pick up & my daily grades are consistent. The other 2 modules, Aerodynamics and Electronics, are a total pain in the ass & totally fucked up facis who are just making the situation even worse. But then, I am left with no choice but to study my ass off. Yes, I am studying. Revising, I mean. I do agree poly life doesn't suit my lifestyle since I've never been good in self-learning. However, I gotta deal with reality that I have to start to wake up if wanna succeed. I'm trying to change my attitude towards the classes, no matter how fucked up the faci can be.

IG life has been pretty hectic nowadays, with the training of new intakes etc. Lots of problems. Lots of em'. Trying to deal with those problem as professionally as I can. However, I must agree to the fact that the juniors are totally awesome! And, also they are quite a talented bunch! Ya, we might not communicate often. Okay. Let me re-phrase that. I've not been communicating much with them. Ya. But, still, I really appreciate the hard work they put in, always coming down for practices. I also love my batch too. They've been splendid! I might not say this everyday, but, I love my Nagas. I appreciate they're co-operation during trainings too.

Reflections 2010 is also around the corner, hence, intense preparations have begun.Nothing is more challenging than producing your own show. All the admin matters, marketing strategies, it can drive you crazy! Hahahahaha. However, So far, I'm able to deal with it. We'll see as time passes by. Hehehehe.

Other than that, I was recently inducted as a member of GammaRays. For those of you who have no idea what GammaRays is, it's a fusion rock gamelan group. Ya. Speaking of which, I just went for their gig at Bukit Panjang CC just now. It was awesome! Well, I'm kind of excited being part of GammaRays right now. & I have never been so awestruck ever since joining. They have a vast amount of talent in the group. Everyone's so talented. Me & Rasydan are kind of the newbies. Hahahaha. I got lots more to learn & though it might be complicating sometimes, I'll pull through. (:

Other than that, I have been in an 11 month long relationship with Siti Nurfazlun binte Tahir. Our anniversary will be oh so soon. Hehehehe. Excited much?

Also, there's been lots of changes recently too. Positive change. It's really nice to see people changing for the better. Though, sometimes, things can hold us back. What I am about to say next is as a reflection for all of us, for both you & also me.

As what I've mentioned just now, some of my friends are turning over a new leaf, beginning a new lease of life, a new chapter, whatever you wanna refer it as to. Personally for me, I truly respect people who are willing, in one way or another, make a positive change to themselves, because, I myself, sometimes keep procrastinating and holding back my plans to change myself for the better. Therefore, what they did, for me, was quite huge & impactful. To a point where sometimes, they just feel too self-conscious about their new perspective of life and opinions from other parties. You know, the feeling you get, everytime you get a new hairstyle? You'll possibly be self-conscious about the opinions of others, whether it was a right choice to change your hairstyle in the first place.

What I am emphasizing is, we should always stand for our thoughts, ideologies & religion, in this case. We should not be held back with people opinions when we decide to change because it involves our own personal lives, not others. As we begin our transition we should reflect, whether we are ready for that transition because every decision that we make in life always has its pros and cons. We just have to stand up to what we think is right and not think of the opinion of others.

To my friends who might or might not know that I am refering to them, I am happy for you guys that you've decided to make a change, a positive change. & yes, it is quite a huge step for you guys to take in your lives. However, you should always be mentally prepared for trials we might face. People can say what they like, scream their opinions out loud, but, we have to stand for our principles in life & not be affected by the environment we are in. Bak kata pepatah, Rambut sama hitam, hati lain-lain. In this case, it all boils down to one thing, Faith. If your faith is strong, you will pull through. Changes like this do take time for people around you to accept & to make people around you to make a change like what you did, takes up even more time.

& to those out there who still feel you're not ready yet to make the change, then, take your time to reflect. However, we have to remember, life is short and none knows their own destiny.

In life, always be the influential one not the influenced. You know what is right for yourself. Like I said, neither do i want to shoot at you for what you've done nor do I want to force change. It is just a reflection for us. Because sometimes, as humans, we rarely sit back and take a look at the big picture.

I guess that's it for now.

I'm done. (:

2010-03-12T12:04:00.001+08:00

I've moved!

2010-02-27T10:37:00.005+08:00

yes people, here I am updating. Hahahaha. Well, those are pics i took from the tree in front of my block when it blooms. & I swear it totally looks like a cherry blossom tree. agree?

Ohwells. Back for to the point. Holidays have been totally awesome so far. No denying that. Well, especially....

W35F CHALET!

Yes indeed, there was so much craziness during the chalet, games & stuff. But, I gotta admit I didn't take part that much. Basically due to the fact that I slept very late the day before, so, i just spent my day lazing around in the room. Well, I still had fun during the BBQ. We played twister as usual & after that I helped out with the food. Attendance was better than the last time we had the chalet which was totally awesome. Faci Siew Yee Kit also came down! Total cool-ness. But, I Just spent my time playing sims by then & when they wanted to play twister, I was totally wasted that resulted in this...

Yes, thanks alot guys. -.-

Other than that, been watching these shows on my lappy.

Credits to Shak for intro-ing them to me. Hahahaha. At least now, I got something to do to fill up my rather mundane free time. & sorry to Thahirah for missing your gig once again. I wanted to go but i thought I had ngaji until the point where I came back form friday prayers that my nenek told me it was cancelled. -.-

ohwells, that's it.

I'm done.

2010-02-15T12:09:00.004+08:00

Yaaaay! The Loooooooooooong Holidays are finally freaking here! Woohoo!

No more waking up early for school, no more worrying about UTs! (Okay, do I even worry about them?), no more daily grades, presentations, blablabla. Like finally, I get to get my mind off those shit and do things I wanna do. Hmmmm. well, not really since I have things such as Ngaji where I still have to worry about. -.-

Okay, first of all, tag replies!

msarah: Hahahaha. Ya laaaa. Thanks, Sarah!(:
LIJUN: Thanks, Lijun! (:
nobuhiro: Hahahaha. Yes, somehow she was involved indirectly. Ohwells.
b: Hahahaha, thanks, b! you're linked!
maizurah (gamelan): Thanks, mai! (:

Well, the past week with dearest Faz has been totally awesome. We finally get to spend time together. & as much as I hate it, I gotta thank the UT week for that. It was the longest time we have spent together for quite some time. & now it's the holidays, we can't really meet each other & living 25 train stations away form each other does not help the situation much. Hmmmm. Ohwells, gotta wait for gamelan trainings to meet then.

I'll still remember that day,
what happened on that train,
so special that it won't go away,
thank you for the memories,
thank you for the week,
thank you for whatever that you did,
I love you.

2010-02-09T07:21:00.005+08:00

Okay, so, now for the special report. Hahahaha. Okay, 07.02.10. Hmmmm. Yes, Siti Nurfazlun Binte Tahir officially became my girlf for 6 months. We've been through lots of happy & trying times. Yes, been through a lot together. Arguments? We had quite a few. I mean, every couple has their ups and downs, right? But, well, What makes her so special is how she has been the perfect one for me, the missing piece in this parcel of life. But, the fact that we had been through a lot for this 6 months has made me learn a lot & reflect more on my life. This experience made me realise how special she is. Seeing you go through so much in your nearly 19 years of life made me learn a lot & I just wanna be there for you.

10 months ago, You sat in the same table as me during orientation. You were soft-spoken and very demure girl. There was just something about you that really grabbed my attention. But, I tried not to care, keep telling myself it's normal to have such feelings. But, I just can't lie to myself. Seeing you every single day in the past semester, I kept falling deeper and deeper. But, I just could not find enough courage at that point of time to speak out because we never even spoke to each other. Not even once. Then, e-learning week came. Something, I least expected happened. We were talking to each other over MSN. Yes, might not seem much, but, it was a start. E-learning came and go & soon we were back to what we were. Not talking to each other anymore. Our communication with each other was just bounded by smiles when we bumped into each other. I chose to keep it to myself as the semester starts to draw to an end. Maybe I would forget you, maybe I won't, but, that's life. I just had to keep moving.

Until, that Friday, he started conversations with me, starting to give me hope that things aren't lost & I have to make use of the time that was left. He could help as much as he could, but, after that, it was my game. He gave your number to me & forced me to make my first move. It was rather stupid to start your first msg on the phone with a lie but that was what I did. I guessed if I never did that, we would never talk. Well, we got off with a bad start, I guess. I even thought, "Oh shit, this might not even happen." But, things took a better turn. Message after message to each other, sometimes till late nights. By then, people have been pressuring to pop that question. But, I was never ready. I wasn't ready for your reaction. Then, He did it again. He reminded me, "Kalau kau tak buat sekarang, bila lagi? Sekolah da nak abis ni." That woke me up and gave me a reminder how time wasn't on my side.

Then, on that saturday, She told me, in her blur state, "Mudd, she really likes you, don't hurt her kay?" That left me in a daze of emotions. I could not be happier.

The clock strikes midnight, start of a new day, 07.08.09. Been waiting and I guess I should just ask. No harm asking, right? There I was texting, "What would you think if I want to take our friendship to another level?" By then, I was breaking out in cold sweat. All those negative feeling bound up inside me. Your reply was short, but, it never failed to make me smile till now. "awak, asal tanye malam-malam gini?" Hahahaha. Yes. That was my love story. Since then, We had never turned back. Enjoying every moment we have together.

However, there's also a special person I have to thank. "He" who woke me up, "He" who gave me hopes. "He" who kept pestering me.

Yes, Syaiful Amiril Bin Haj Mohamad. Hahahaha. The Director of my love story. We owe our hapiness to you.

& also "the blur one" who dropped the important hint. Wait, was it even a hint? Hahahaha.

Hahahah. Who else? Maisarah Binte Kamal. I think if you never said that, this would never even happen. Andddddd, yes. I still keep that "fateful" conversation. & I cannot stop laughing everytime I read that.

Well, I guess that's it.

I'm done.

2010-02-06T00:50:00.002+08:00

UTs tomorrow! OMGOMGOMG. Walao. It's so fast and now it's nearing my last day as a freshman in RP. Well, my relationship with W36B has been quite fruitful, though not as awesome as W35F. Nevertheless, it was nice knowing you guys man.

&& my girlf is hands down elegant & beautiful in her dress today. Total shocker!
Hahahaha.

I'm done. :P

2010-01-28T22:53:00.003+08:00

Hey there. Okay, first and foremost, I would like to apologise for the irregularities in my updates. Life has been so hectic nowadays. My schedule are mostly packed by meeting and ngaji nowadays. & I can tell you that most of my personal time is now gone. It's like I only have saturday for myself, which technically isn't since I have soccer trainings over the weekends. Cool eh? -.-

Well, life has been really busy for me nowadays. Meeting, meeting & more meeting. Yes, being the vice-president of your IG (A.K.A CCA!) is super freaking tiring. What more you have 3 shows lined up close to each other! But, so far, i'm fine with how the flow is going & I must say I'm getting pretty acclimatised with my new surrounding and environment, new responsibilities and commitments. I mean, I've been through all these business during my days in the school band, so I guess I can handle this. We'll see how it goes ehhhh.

School life has also been fine. We're approaching week 15 for this semester and UT3 is just around the corner. Yes, tell me about the pressure. Time flies really fast, like seriously. Just another 1 more week before I bade my farewells to W36B. The peeps there are fine. Though our rapport is only bounded within the classroom, during breaks and for those who smoke, their smoking breaks, they're a fine group to work with. Very nice people indeed. Everyone works well with each other, now that's important.

Well, for now, I'm seriously deprived of time with family, friends and my dearest Faz. Well, I come back late each day so my relationship at home is just short conversations with everyone. By the time I arrive home, they're usually asleep. When I wake up, they're gone. I rarely get to go out for outings with my usuals. It's sad when they can't accomodate to the minority sometimes. Hmmmm. But, ohwells. I just gotta find time and squeeze them into my schedule.

It's never easy watching someone you love go through so much pain.
If there's something I would want to tell you, you're someone so special to me, in fact too special that I would never want to lose. Someone I would always want to give my best. Someone who is worthwhile to be cared and loved. I'm not angry, just frustrated, frustrated that I have failed you.

I really miss your hair in my face,
And the way your innocence tastes,
And I think you should no that,
You deserve much better than me.

-Better than me, Hinder.

I'm done.

2010-01-20T14:29:00.002+08:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Like WHOAAAAAAA! What was I doing at that age? Hmmmmm. You never know, he'll feature in some awesome metal band in the future! Hahahahahha. Okay, random.

2010-01-20T13:22:00.002+08:00

I cannot stop thinking about it. I swear. 2nd trip to Australia in between 2 years! Like wooooooooooo mannnnn. Hahahaha. Well, only this time, it's not a personal trip. I'm representing Gamelan & RP for an educational 5-day trip. Soooooooo totally happy about it. Buttttt, it'll mean leaving behind Singapore for 5 days & someone will not be very happy about it. Hmmmmmm.

The day goes by faster nowadays for me. It's like my first year in poly life is gonna end any time soon. Like WTF?

Well, tomorrow's formal day and someone will be very happy about it.

I'm Done.

2010-01-13T14:18:00.002+08:00

He always tried so hard to make her happy.

He gets upset when he fails.

He tried to understand & he's still trying to learn.

He sometimes gets too worried for her.

He got feelings he never felt when he's with her.

He tried to share his happiness but sometimes she just don't want to.

He needs to understand that not everyone has their day.

He needs to understand her feelings and emotions more better.

He needs to understand that both of their lives are different.

He wants her to know that sometimes you just have to bravely face the hard knocks of life.

He wants her to know that though patience kills, it's the main key for her now.

He might not seem like he cares, but, he actually do.

He tried to be patient but sometimes he gets really frustrated.

He's frustrated because he can't change her.

He still hopes she'll live a more optimistic life.

He knows his word might hurt but he just wants her to know.

He does not want her to give up.

He wants her to get better.

He wants her to smile and laugh again.

He's still waiting there for her.

He's waiting there to give her his full support.

He cannot bear to see her upset again.

He's very sorry if he followed his emotions to much.

He wants her to know that he's being to emotional nowadays.

He wants her to know it's because he misses her.

He worries for her.

He doesn't want her to be the pessimistic self.

He wants her to know that every start has an end.

He hopes she does read this.

2010-01-12T19:30:00.002+08:00

Currently freaking addicted to this song. Dragontower by Keep Of Kalessin. It's a song written for the eurovision competition in Europe. (DUHH!) It's a songwriting competition in Europe where recording artiste write songs and compete to be the best in whole of Europe. (If i'm not wrong.) Well, it's not like the usual way their music is, but, when you have a funky arabian tune to the song, who gives a flying fuck? Hahahaha.

I'm done.

2010-01-11T22:50:00.002+08:00

They are really the next big thing in my new chapter of life. I mean, I have my 6E clique during my primary school days. My ExpressO! crew, buzz ninety eight guys and the band clique during my secondary school days and now my W35F peeps, my ossuarium dudes and now THE NAGAS. Yeaaaaaa. Entrusting me as the vice-president was a total shock. But, I'll do my best in whatever way I can to lead us to more new heights. (:

2010-01-01T17:09:00.002+08:00

Okay, Well, sayonara to another great year, 2009 & we welcome another year, 2010, with much hoipes and aspirations.

Soooooooo, how did I spend my last few moments of 2009? In the comfort of a place where I find guidance for the soul, with friends I knew since we were running around in diapers, talking throughout the night, with my phone in hand & msg-ing my dearest girlf.

An overlook of 2009, I can never deny that 2009 had been a great year so far. New life, New friends, new love. (:

Well...

IN 2009...

-Spent the beginning of the year down under. (AUSTRALIA!)

-Passed my O's & got results that were really beyond expectations.

-Got enrolled into RP.

-New life, New friends, New Class. W35F was the beginning of everything.

-It was also the beginning of an unexpected turn of events.

-Siti Nurfazlun Binte Tahir was her name. & there i was, back to a familiar game.

-Waiting for the perfect time, just to be woken up by Syaiful Amiril Bin Haj Mohamad, to be reminded that "you have to do something, before it's too late."

-When the clock strikes midnight on 070809, it was a start of something new.

-Joined a new family, Gamelan Naga Kencana & there starts my new adventure to another world of music.

-3 months of hard work and preparation & Kirana was another wonderful production, a new experience.

-A commendable GPA. Well, it's a start, a benchmark.

-Life starts back from square one, this time with W36B.

-More new friends made.

-& we learn and learn and learn. Got to learn more new instruments.

Well, I guess that sums up my 2009. It's what I remember anyway. No denying, it's been a wonderful year. & to all you homosapiens out there,

HAVE A WONDERFUL YEAR AHEAD!

I'm done.

2009-12-29T09:06:00.008+08:00

Okay, It's time for another update! Hmmm, so where should we start.

Sooooo, yes, I decided to learn another new instrument for gamelan. Well, like they say, "learning is a lifelong journey." Hahahaha. Yes, for now, I'm learning to play the Sundanese drums. I must say it's pretty a cool instrument to learn. Yeaaaaa. Especially how you control the bass pitchings with your feet.

& There's gamelan practice today. Preparation for the upcoming open house. Nothing's still finalised yet. Hmmmmm. Ohwells. I have to go to RP early since the room pass is with me, so I have to open the room, since there will be meeting for the upcoming committe members and I'm part of that. Yes, I'm part of the upcoming committee and I don't have any freaking idea how I ended up there. Well, that means more responsibilty, less time with family and friends and more time in school. Especially when you have big productions.

Okay, I had a loooooooooooooooooong talk with the folks about where I should go during my 2-month vacation in the car during the weekends. So, there's a debate between Sydney & Jakarta. I chose Sydney since I already knew a few of the folks there so it would'nt be too awkward for me. But, the parents want me to go to Jakarta, since it's farrrrrr more cheaper, since they spent quite a huge sum of money for 2009. & they're using the reason that I dropped my laptop as a point of rebuttal everytime I talked about Sydney.

& The whole point of going of going overseas, according to them, is to find new experience & to be a better person religiously, for those who don't know. I rest my case and I won't elaborate on that further here. If you want to know more, ask me personally. (:

Okay, It's been awhile since I last kicked a soccer ball. I misss playing together with my ExpressO! crew. Ohwells. Anyways, If any of you who happen to read this post, me and Wirda are planning to play street soccer at one of TJ's street soccer courts. Die kate tukar angin. Hahahaha. Okay, text me if you're interested. (:

& I LOVE THIS SONG!
That's it.

I'm done.

2009-12-25T16:13:00.002+08:00

Okay, no denying this, but the holidays so far has been totally awesome! From gamelan practices to the camp, Azhar punye muke kene goreng and yesterday's outing to Sentosa was tha' bomb!

Okay, I'm totally bored right now & I miss you badly. Damn the prepaid! Pfft.

2009-12-08T11:35:00.008+08:00

Well, physics today is total boredom, so, it gives me every fucking reason to update this dusty ol' blog o' mine. Hahahaha. Hmm, what the fuck should we talk about? Oh, I know...

2010!

Yes people! It's december now, last week of school before 3 weeks vacation and time to welcome 2010! Hahaha. So much events to look forward to, events you hope will happen, blablabla.

Events to look forward to!

Yeah, pure fucking american metal band, Lamb Of God, is coming to town people! \m/ Something that will be the highlight of next year. I really hope it'll happen this time. Really wanna go and watch their gig.

World Cup in South Africa next year! Woohoo~ Okay, what makes me so excited about this year is just that they're featuring new teams. Well, they aren't new actually. Some are making their debut appearances, some are making a comeback after so long. Mostly are regulars from past editions. Teams like Honduras, Algeria, North Korea, New Zealand, Slovenia, Slovakia and Chile are a few underdogs and dark horses that qualified for this year's edition. Sooooo, Which team are you rooting for? **Nabb maseh ambik Germany ehh? Hahahahaha.**

Okay, i think this does'nt need much elaborations. If you're a Singaporean, by now, you should know what it's all about.

Things I hope will happen next year!

Yes, they were supposed to be i town this year, but, well, something happened and their gig here was cancelled/postponed. Hmm. I still really silently hope these Swedish Progressive Metal Giants would have their gig here next year. That would be so fucking ace! It'll just make 2010 much more better.

Hmm, well, will end it here. Just a last shoutout to this special girl in my life,

HAPPY 4TH MONTH, BBY!

2009-12-01T09:09:00.003+08:00

Okay, here I am updating. This post is gonna be super long so just bare with it.

THURSDAY NIGHT / FRIDAY

Thursday night, was walking to the bus stop to go to Darul Islah when Zul called me asking whether I wanted to go together. Agreed and I turned back and headed to Lakeside to meet-up with him. We trained all the way to JE and took 51 from there. Played Fifa 10 via ad hoc with him and he finally realised how big a noob he was. Hahahaha. Reached Darul Islah and straightaway helped out with setting up of the slaughtering corner. Yeaaaaa. After that, helped Zainul to change the sawdust in the kandang and also giving the kambings food and water. Cleared 1 dead sheep, 4 suffocated ones and 1 limp. So, we expanded the kandang to be more wider so that they could have more space. Zainul fell while doing that and that was seriously funny shit! XD

After that, kinda slacked around as there was nothin left to do since most of the work was done the previous night. Went night cycling all the way to shell to get some food and accompany Zul for his dose of vitamin N. Hahahaha. Later on, the rest of the gang arrived. As usual, we joked around and stuff. Blasted Misteri Jam 12 on the van. While they played soccer later on, I chatted with dearest Faz on the phone. She turned in around 1 so I slacked at the smoking room with the others. Continued whooping Zul's ass at fifa 10 until he gave up. I got 20 minutes sleep before waking up for Solat Subuh.

After solat, set up the plastic sheets for solat raya. Ibnu played a prank on Ahmad while he was sleeping. He basically grabbed a toad and left it beside Ahmad while he was sleeping. Ahmad freaked out when he woke up. Hahahaha.

Washed up and got ready for solat raya. I kinda dozed off during the khutbah. Heh. Was really super sleepy then. After that, changed my clothes and got ready for rodeo! If you're wondering, I'm the guy in the orange shirt in the pic. & yes, it's YC's PE T-shirt. Hahaha. Really enjoyed myself. Frankly speaking, though I'm really shagged at that moment I enjoyed every single moment of it since these celebrations only come once in a year. So, yaaaaa.

After everything was done, went to wash off, the shit, blood, blablabla. Took a bath, collected the meat and taxi-ed home. Reached home and slept like a pig after that. Hahaha.

SARTURDAY

Woke up early to help my mum with house cleaning. Mopped the floor before I went out. Met up with MC in front of YC and we headed in first, leaving out the others since they're late. Talked to a few teachers befroe hading for the band room. Well, I miss sitting at the back row, blasting my 3rd trombone parts, together with Rafi, we irrirtated the shit outta Wanteng, keeping an eye over the other juniors, trying hard to catch any members who mishandled their instruments, long fingernails, ankle socks, unclipped fringes, talking, blabla. How I would count down after practices, scream and shout during foot drills. Those were the times.

Left early to meet up with dearest Faz at City Hall. Walked to Funan to send my lappy for service. Now, I have to wait for 2 weeks. Price for LCD change? 438.75 bucks. How about that. So kids, love your lappys while you have em'.

After that, trained all the way to Chinese Garden. We slacked at the bonsai garden when it rained heavily. Dearest Faz enjoys poking me because I get all ticklish about it.

Left at 5 for the jamming centre for jamming session with the dudes. After jamming, slacked and drank Bavaria. Hahahaha. After that went to JP for dinner. Reached home at 9.

SUNDAY

Left house at 7.30 since my lil bro, Sobirin, is going to HK for his school's study trip. How cool is zattt? I mean, they don't have these during my time. The furthest I've went for a school study trip is Genting Highlands. -.-

Dad drove to me to Lakeside at 8. Trained all the way to Dhoby Ghaut for the peranakan festival performance. Met Syai at Admiralty. Arrived there and met the other GNKs at Plaza Sing Macs.

Walked all the way to SMU. Once we arrived, helped out Mon & Azhar to move all the instruments to the concourse. I tell you, that place needs a bigger Loading/Unloading Lift. -.-

Performance was at 12. Had lotsa fu for the performance. Dearest Faz was dropdead gorgeous in her kebaya! Heh. And did I tell you, Her whole Family was there! Hahahaha. Bikin orang main sampai tak tentu arah seh.

After performance, help Mon & Azhar to move the instruments back to RP. Bloody tired, I must say. After that, Dad picked me up and sent Mon to woodlands interchange. After that, dropped by Ar-Raudah to solat before going to Beach Rd for late lunch.

Well, in conclusion,

MY WEEKENDS WAS AWESOME!

2009-11-25T11:45:00.002+08:00

Okay. Sorry for very irregular updates. Poly life is being a total bitch. Having maths module today. It's all about differentition and it's a total pain in the ass, i tell you. Total respect to my friends who took A maths for their Os. Brilliant Brains.

I also have gamelan for this week, since the peranakan festival is just around the corner. To be precise, it's this sunday. -.- Totally not confident. The music's still not totally locked. Still here and there. But, well, just give it the best. To my friends who are interested to check it out, details are here.

Msg-ed Nabb the whole of last night. Yes, my bitch for 4 years. Hahahaha. Did catching-up. Talked about school, RP, Tabby, Guys, relationships and a whole lot more random stuff. Hahahaha. She still does'nt change. Well, guess that's all for now.

I'm done.

2009-11-20T11:32:00.002+08:00

Listening to this song reminds me of my P6 malay class. How cikgu Hasnah uses songs to test our hearing. Hahahaha.

2009-11-19T12:14:00.002+08:00

Feeling miserable because I dropped my lappy and that caused the LCD screen to crack internally. My chicken nearly flew off my plate during the first break. Dearest Faz laughed at me. Loaned school's lappy which bloody heavy and is like shit. It's an acer tablet PC. Borrowed X's stylus. Drew stupid stuff on microsoft word. One of them is on display. Still feeling miserable. Cutting off all contacts hoping it'll be better. Peranakan festival another 2 weeks time. Feeling really tired. & that sums up this pointless post. Bye!

2009-11-18T11:45:00.002+08:00

You might not be reading this and I might be the last person you would want to talk to at the moment. But, I just want to say that I'm sorry if I'm the cause of all this mess. Never in my heart I would want to cause this to happen. I'll be more than happy to step back, if that's what you wish for. Blood is thicker than water, they say. I'll say, blood is thicker than anything else. I'll be willing to do anything, just to put back together what I've taken away and what I've destroyed. Though your words really hurt, I deserve it. I know I've caused alot of trouble. I hope you'll be willing to accept my apology. The most sincere, from the depths of my heart.

2009-11-16T23:45:00.002+08:00

Ingin ku lari dari situasi ini,
Ingin saja ku bawa diri,
Cuba kau cuba untuk memahami isi hati,
Namun yang tau, hanya diriku sendiri.

Bahtera ini yang kita lalui,
Tiada semanis seperti ini,
Tiada lagi aku bermimpi,
Tamat sudah penantianku ini.

Ingin ku lari dari kenyataan,
Oh tuhan Kau berilah jalan,
Kau berikanlah aku kesabaran,
Untukku tempuhi ini cubaan.

Tiada ucapan untuk mengungkap ini kerinduaan,
Maafkan khilafku jika ia punca keresahan,
Pilunya malam ini tiada bandingan,
Tiada insan di sini aku keseorangan.

Ini karya bukan dari seorang anak seni,
tapi luahan tulus dari diriku ini,
maafkan aku jikaku lukakan hati,
aku hanya seorang insan ciptaan Illahi.

2009-11-16T14:02:00.003+08:00

Feeling very miserable even when it seems like I'm not. Living a life that I never wanted. Words from a friend sends me down a whirl of confusion. So many questions unanswered. Tired, shagged, jaded. The only hope is waking up to see your smile for another day. Will you wait for me?

I still owe someone a hug.

2009-11-13T01:04:00.003+08:00

Read Shak's recent blog post and certainly found logic behind it. I miss my carefree days too. I miss pissing Sulaiman's ass off. I miss bullying Nabilah, along with Faez and Wirda. I miss going for sectionals. I miss playing my trombone. I miss playing the euphonium. I miss counting down after band practices. I miss commanding during drills. I miss eating together at the canteen. I miss running around the canal and irritating the shit out of Nabb at the same time. I miss going for Jammings. I miss cheering on Team Singapore during the Beijing olympics on the LCD TV with the guys. I miss sitting at the round table with my group of friends and laugh our asses off. I miss the lessons in class. I miss the chapteh we used to play. I miss staying back till late just to play soccer. I miss the trips I had with the band to Port Dickson and Genting. I miss doing ASPIRE when we're actually not. I miss shooting paper bullets with Rafi at Wenguang when he's sleeping during ASPIRE. I MISS MY YCSS 08' BATCH ALOT!

2009-11-13T00:35:00.002+08:00

Heyy there. Here I am updating, like FINALLY. Currently, I just finished my 500+ word RJ for comms. Yeaaaaa. The word limit was 350 actually, but, I'm always like that when it comes to a module that I really like. & my new comms faci is like totally awesome! Hahahaha. He has a really cool British accent and it somehow reminds me of professor Snape from HP. I freaking don't know why. & he does'nt have censorship which means there's alot of vulgarities in his conversations and stuff. Oh ya, he's only 29 and he's done his PhD. Which means, he is fit to be called a doctor [Not the doctors you see laa when you're sick.] .

Well, there's UT tomorrow. Maths, anyway. From problem 1-4. Stayed back for a while jsut now to offer help to Syai. I could'nt offer much since my own understanding for the object is pretty bad, but, I hope it was of much help. (:

There's still gamelan for me nowadays. It's been really taxing, I must say. We're preparing for our performance for peranakan festival @ SMU on the 29th november 2009. It's free btw, so for those who missed out my performance for Kirana, this might be your chance to watch me perform again. So ya, do come down peeps! :D

Well, My parents just informed m while I'm doing my RJ just now that they're gonna send me off to Australia for my next vacation. Decided to postpone it to the other vacation which is after UT3 which is much more longer. I'm feeling pretty torn, so to speak. A part is me is somewhat happy, while the other's not. Happy that I'll be able to meet the friends that I've made again, but not happy because old memories seem to come back to haunt me again. Oh wells, life must go on. I've opened the new chapter in my life and the old one has been long left behind. I'm a new person now with you and I don't wish to turn back.

Anywayssss, to my peacedudes, I'm free on saturdays so i really look forward for an outing together! Ape2 tekan ehs, bebs and mat [mat satu je, jadi s tak perlu. XD] .

Intuition's telling me that behind the smile, lies a mountain of worries.
I just can't ignore this feeling.
I might be wrong, I might be right.
I'm not to worry, you say.
But if I don't, who's there to?

2009-11-09T09:09:00.002+08:00

If life was like a player, I'll leave last saturday on playback. (:

2009-11-04T13:59:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I just wish that he could be around the house more often.

2009-11-02T14:33:00.006+08:00

Gay partners. I've been rejected. :(

Haha! Guess who! Faazzzzz here!!

I'm so borred laaaa so Ahmad, who's always so nice, gave me, willingly gave me, his password to his blog, and sooo, I shall entertain myself.

OMG, I STILL CAN'T GET OVER THE FACT THAT I PRANKED HIM TWICE! HAHA. AM SOOOO LOVING IT! :)

Ehh, more to come ah. More.

Wonder if he will scold me. Hahah. Oh yeah, did you know that snails are actually two sexes in one? I seriously didn't know that. They have a penis and a vagina. Go Wiki it, if you don't know. Interesting, but I had to watch their mating video, and it grossed me out.

Oh yeah! KIRANA WAS THE BOMB! Still can't believe it's over! & it was nice to see Shak there too! & the plan to introduce two people to each other failed 'cause someone was too shy. Hahaha. But no worries. Double date will come up soon.

I've been dreaming of Ahmad since Friday, ain't I sweet? Haha. But he doesn't dream of me, how sad is that?? Oh yeah, I forgot, Mirah might punch him later or something.,'cause I told her we were fighting and she actually BELIEVED me. Heeeee, pranking people is so funn.

& Ahmad finally found his laptop charger. That forgetful person ah. Aiyoooh.

Okay, I think that's enough for now. Toodles~!

2009-11-02T12:17:00.002+08:00

2 pictures that I totally love right now. Hahahaha.

Okayyyy, it's been awhile I updated this thing here. Hahaha. Sorry, very long weekend. Kirana, Start of my classes at Perdaus and of course Tahfiz classes. UTs coming soon then peranakan festival performance at SMU! Walao. FML. Hmmm. I need help juggling my time. HELP!

I'm done.

2009-10-28T12:22:00.001+08:00

Talking to Shak and Rafi during 2nd break just realeases the stress.

2009-10-28T09:19:00.001+08:00

They're at Jakarta now. So near yet so far. Hmm. Walao eh.

2009-10-26T11:48:00.001+08:00

Okay, the pic explains it all, right? No need for explanations. (:

Well, to abang dikir kite, Enjoy your 19th. Hahahaha. Da abang, abang eh. So, perangai pon da kene tukar tau ni. Hahahaha.

Well, will be busy with Kirana till thursday. Might not be updating.

I'm done.

2009-10-24T15:05:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow.
Anfield would set the stage for match between 2 of the biggest rivals in english football.

A match for pride, glory, honour, respect and of course, bragging rights.

Who will come out tops?

Anfield awaits.

2009-10-24T08:50:00.003+08:00

This indian made me, Thahirah and Rafi laughed our asses off during the train ride from Dhoby Ghaut to Harbourfront, which is like 20 minutes. & what I mean by laughing our asses off is laughing till you cry, till all your facial muscles hurt real bad, till you can't stand straight and and your stomachs feel like they're going to burst at any moment. Yes, Ladies and gentlemen, Shakthiya Subramaniamm does it again. From his crazy moves in public, to the indian accent, to the old indian movie evil laugh and moments where he irritated the shit out me, he has done it again. Hahahaha.

Well, yesterday's outing with the ossuarium dudes was'nt really bad. Ignoring the fact that Shak had to wait for nearly an hour for us. It's not like we wanted to anyway. Rafi ended classes late and after that he wanted to fill up his stomach. So, while he had his late lunch with Thahirah, I went to the gamelan room to try out the costumes for the upcoming performance.

So, after that met up with the two at TRCC and walked all the way to woodlands MRT, together with Dearest Faz, Syai and Azhar. Halfway through the journey, it rained. HEAVILY. We were like running for the nearest shelter. & I tell you, after not running for soooooooooooooooooooo long, it was hell manszx. Well, was'nt really drenched when we reached Woodlands. So, after that, parted ways with dearest Faz. She took the bus to Changi Airport to meet up with her friends.

By the time we arrived at Dhoby Ghaut, it was already 5.30, when we were supposed to meet Shak at 4.30. Hahahaha. Well, he's one angry indian, i tell you. Hahaha. He was lamenting that he had to wait alone and how an old auntie farted. Hahahahaha.

Walked around Plaza Singapura aimlessly. We just went into a few shops and there were a few cool ones, such as Caesars'. Well, it's a shop that sells swords and other medival war stuff. After that went all the way down to the basement, Accompanied Shak at LJS for his dinner. Then, went to the aquarium, since Shak wanted to check it out. It's kinda cool because they have all these unique fishes and stuff that you rarely see. Then trained down all the way to harbourfront and we parted ways. I had to leave early for my religious classes.

Arrived home around 10 plus. Maged Faz all the way till 12 plus while watching WWE smackdown! Yes people, I just can't get enough of that show.

Okay, well that sums up what an awesome day it was yesterday! :D

p.s. I'm still mesmerised about yesterday.
p.p.s I feels so good running in the rain with you.
p.p.p.s I miss my gorgeous girlf. (:

I'm done.

2009-10-23T11:48:00.004+08:00

Heyyyy, here I am updating. Cognitve skills & problem solving skills today. I'm really at a total lost right now on what I'm supposed to do. Hahahahaha.

I might be going to Plaza Singapura right after school today with the ossuarium dudes. Well, they were supposed to have a night safari outing today, but, at the last minute, it got cancelled. I really hope the dudes will be able to make it today. Because, everytime when I can go out with them, they can't. & it's the vice versa at times, which can be really sickening. I really need a getaway nowadays. Gamelan is occupying most of my time, thanks to Kirana. Oh wells, just another week to endure. Which brings us to one point, KIRANA IS OH SO FUCKING NEAR!

Well, frankly speaking, at times, during practices, I'll be at a breaking point where I just want to give up already. Hmmmmm. Oh wells, I guess that the news where the tickets were a sellout somehow provides some motivation. And, the opportunity to spend time with dearest Faz.

Yupps, we rarely get time for ourselves. Hmmmm. 2 months plus into this relationship. Smooth sailing so far. Never felt better. Well, we finally got to spend time together on wednesday watching the notebook. It's more like a porn movie rather than a chick flick if you ask for my honest opinion. But, ohwells, storyline of the movie was really interesting. We also watched Black Symphony by Within Temptation. Well, just the encore part laaaaa, since they played all i need during that part of the show. & that was the day I got pranked AGAIN, FOR THE SECOND TIME! Hmm. Shall not talk about it to keep my dignity held high although somehow I've got a badly bruised ego. Sheeeeesh. Rafi & Thahirah could'nt believe I got pranked again by my own girlfriend. Hahahahaha.

Ohohoh, Thahirah nearly decapitated my head off when we were rushing for the train in the morning. Well, she basically pushed me from behind and my hands were on the train doors & the train moved at that moment. My head nearly banged into the gates. Hahahaha. Gawddddd.

& my dearest Siti Nurfazlun looks dropdead gorgeous today! **hyperventilates & faints**

I'm done.

All I need.

2009-10-21T12:38:00.007+08:00

Heyyyyyy,Here I am updating. Well, watched Black Symphony by Within Temptation and Metropole Orchestra. Yupps. Thahirah sent it to me. That's the advantage when you have a friend who is a metalhead. I wondered what would happen to me if she was somewhere else other than RP. Hahahaha. I would be a dumb mofuck who does'nt know a single shit about metal. Hahahha.

And, now, I fell in love with the song All I Need by Within Tempatation. Sharon is wonderful with her vocals as usual and the band's totally awesome!

I’m dying to catch my breath
Oh why don’t I ever learn?
I’ve lost all my trust,
though I’ve surely tried to turn it around

Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
when you hold me in your embrace

Don’t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don’t tear me down
You’ve opened the door now, don’t let it close

I’m here on the edge again
I wish I could let it go
I know that I’m only one step away
from turning it around

Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
when you hold me in your embrace

Don’t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don’t tear it down, what’s left of me
Make my heart a better place

I tried many times but nothing was real
Make it fade away, don’t break me down
I want to believe that this is for real
Save me from my fear
Don’t tear me down

Don’t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place

Don’t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don’t tear it down, what’s left of me
Make my heart a better place
Make my heart a better place

Very deep lyrics eh? Hahahaha. Totally LOVE it.

I'm done.

And all's fine.

2009-10-18T17:37:00.003+08:00

Heyyy, Here I am updating. Very tired after a loooooooong day. Ngaji, moving stuff, blablabla.

Yesterday's soccer outing was tha' bomb! hahahaha. Well, even though we had to wake up early, it was worth all the fun we had. Overall, Yass, Faez, Ami, Sufian, Aiman, Uzair, Hisyam, Marcus Cheng, Wir, My lil bros and I came down. Did'nt expect the chinese guys of 6F 04' to come down too, but, I'm glad they came down too. Got to play against each other.

Well, Dearest Faz's discharged! Yaaaayyyyyy! Well, i'm really glad she's doing well now. & I swear, this 1 whole week, I really felt a whirlwind of emotions. Like, seriously. Oh wells. Everything's worth it. I'm really happy you're fine. Met her during the last Friday with Syai. Well, although it was only for a short moment, getting to see her means I can finally breathe. I was expecting only her mum there but really got into quite a shock when nearly the whole family was there!
Syai really made me panic. Well, I was'nt at first, but, that guy just know how to press your button and snap your wires. Oh wells. We'll meet soon! :D

Tomorrow is going to be the third week of school and only a week left before Kirana!

Yupps, Feeling the pressure right now. But, oh wells. Trying to keep myself as relaxed as I can and try to take care of my vocals. Which means gallons of water. Hahahaha. & I've yet to copy down my notes to the flash cards. Hahahaha. Ahmad, Ahmad. When will you ever change?

I'm done.

We'll wish upon a star.

2009-10-16T08:28:00.003+08:00

Well, I was rummaging through my cupboard for some stuff when I found my aviators! Hahahaha. LOL. Well, can't where them anyway. There's no degree so i'll be a blind mouse if I were to wear them.

Well, somehow, people are mistaking me for Faz on Msn. For example, Sarah asked me whether I have web design yesterday when I' don't do that, since I'm an engineering student. And, Mirah told me she was going to visit me later when the one who is hospitalised was'nt me. Hmmmm. People just need to check who they're talking to nowadays. Adddoooiiii.

Okay, today's cognitve skills and problem solving. So far, everything's good. But, I'm expecting a bumpy road ahead.

Thahirah lent me the demo CD on this month's edition of Terrorizer so i could keep myself occupied during the break. & the bands featured are'nt really bad. I'm like using this as a reason to get my mind of things. There's Ensiferum on the CD! Cool-ness.

Okay, beloved Faz is hospitalised. :/ I should've went to met her straightaway after getting to know, but, I have there's such a thing called "commitments" that made me unable to visit her. Seriously. I feel really bad right now. Maybe, I should've forgo gamelan for once and work out my priorities. I'm going to visit her later and somehow her mum already caught the first glance of me, while I was webcam-ing just now. Hmm.

Oh wells, I think I should stop being so worrying. Wait. Not stop totally la. Put a limit to it. Well, take care.

Here I stand looking up to the sky,
Praying hard to the heavens' high,
Hoping that you'll be fine,
And Things would Change for you and I,
Wishing it would be like those days,
where no worries were in our way,
Things might not be the same,
But one thing's not to change,
and forever will remain,
That's my love and care for you.

I'm done.

When worrying seems so hard to let go.

2009-10-15T16:12:00.004+08:00

Okay. I think my mood for writing long RJs are back. Hahahahaha.

Well, Communication skills was'nt really bad. Really cool module. I'm starting to like it alot. Like how I like Enterprise skills in the previous semester. Hahahaha. Well, I'm also kinda happy right now because it's the 2nd B for maths. Cool or what? Though, I don't really get the idea why I got a B, but, who really gives a flying fuck when you're doing well for your daily grades?

Yesterday, was fun with Thahirah. & those are'nt alcohol.

Okay. Now, I'm really worried.

Speak softly love.

2009-10-10T14:41:00.002+08:00

Heyyyyyy, here I am updating.

It has been a really long week for me. To start off, I'm now in a new class since it's the new semester. I'm still feeling awkward with my new class. Although, I've started to make new friends. W36B is totally a different ball game for me. To start off, the age gap between me and most of my classmates are quite far, so that makes me one of the youngest ones there. Well, i'm pretty fine with that since with W35F, i'm also one of the youngest ones. The main problem lies within me, I just have problem making new friends. I take a longer time to open up to people. I guess that's what i have to work on since my class would be ever changing after 16 weeks thanks to RP's system.

Well, my first week together with my new class wasn't that bad. Was able to get to know a few people and work with them. And, I have this habit of getting to know some one of the other race faster than the ones of my own. Yupps. The Malays in my class were'nt really that bad la. No mats nor minahs. Neither were they kereks or anything. I only got to work with 2 of the malays in my class so far. They're okay, I must say. Facis wise, I only prefer my cognitive, maths and communication practice facis. They're pretty engaging. Physics faci? Okay laaaa. Engineering Design Faci? BORING! But, still, I think I like engineering design since it has a D&T flavour to it. hahahaha.

Went Jamming yesterday with the Ossuarium dudes. It's been a while, I must say. Since Shak had a totally different time schedule while Marcus is now in Yio Chu Kang army camp, doing drills and stuff. So, we have to wait for him to book out or there won't be any drummer available. So, first attempt jamming together was'nt that bad. Although, there's still alot that we need to work on. Faz tagged along yesterday, so somehow, she gets to see first hand what her favourite boy's life is all about. Hahaha.

Well, I can't wait for this coming wednesday. Like, finally. :D

I'm Done.

It's that time again.

2009-10-07T15:06:00.005+08:00

Can I say that Shak is just being so bloody awesome! Hahahaha.

Heyyyyyyyy, here I am updating. It's now like the after school hours. Stayed back in school to finish up my RJ and all the other necessary stuff. Well, Had maths module today and it's all about vectors. Yes, people. I hope tomorrow will be much better since it's all about communication skills. Oh wells, maths today wasn't really bad. Appointed leader of the group although I must admit that my group members were of really great help. I think I would'nt have survived the day without their help.

After school, had lunch at south foodcourt and met up with Rafi & Thahirah. After that, went off to the library since Rafi wants to play the guitar. & now, here I am, watching Rafi play his games and his Laptop. Bloody awesome I must tell you.

This might not be the perfect way to celebrate a special day.
Still, I want you to know, I'll be right there for you, through thick or thin.
What worries you you, worries me too.
So sorry I can't be there for you, during the time you needed me most.
Time: The the thing we need for both you and I.
Happy 2nd Monthsary. Ily.

New Beginnings.

2009-10-06T15:22:00.003+08:00

Heyyyyyyyyyy. Here I am updating.

Well, as I promised, missing dearest Faz at the moment. (:
Pardon me for the long absence. Been really super busy with gamelan, raya, blablabla. Gamelan really took up the most time, due to Kirana coming up. Oh ya, well, I guess this would be the right time to do some publicity eh? Yes, people. I'm now in gamelan. Soooooooo, to all my friends out there who are curious to know what gamelan is (pronounced as GA.MEHHH.LANNN, not GAME.LAN), do come down and support RP's Gamelan group, Gamelan Naga Kencana! Hahahaha. Tak selalu tau dapat tengok aku main gamelan. Hahaha. (Ahmad, ahmad. Tak perlu eh.) Hahahaha.

Well, School has begun and now we're in the 2nd semester, here in RP. Which means, NEW CLASS. Yes, people. That's how things are down here. Which means, I'm back to square one. Pfft. Well,classes are never permeanent here and it's always ever changing. Annnnnddddd, for most of us, we will totally hate it. I mean, who does'nt? You have to make new friends after every 16 weeks.

Well, so far, my new class, W36B's quite fine. Still at the getting along stage. Starting to make new friends here and there. But, still, I miss W35F!

Oh ya, I got a few people to thank for their effort in my birthday surprise.

Special thanks to The ExpressO! crew for their birthday wishes and the few who came down all the way to RP. Yes, even for the prank candles and stuff.

To W35F peeps, as simple as the surprise is, I still appreciate what you guys have done for me. (:

& to my dearest Faz, for making my day extra special. ILY. (:

Well,

I'm done.

Let The Celebrations Begin!

2009-09-19T14:09:00.004+08:00

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Here I am updating. Been really busy lately with gamelan and stuff. Yupps. It's kinda bben that way for the past few weeks. Tiring, Pressurisng, frustrating, nervous, bla...bla...blaa. In short, the syndrome every performer would have when a performance is drawing nearer. Especially, a huge one. You know. The usual stuff.

Coincidentally, It's the last week of the fasting month! WOOOO~ Like, Yay-ness. Preparations had been quite intense. Feeling really shagged. Well, Scrubbed the toilet spotless. Well, not too spotless laaaaaa. Sheesh. Discovered all those "interesting" things in there. Hahahaha. Hmmm. Spring cleaned the whole house. And, yes, when tensions are high and you're on an empty stomach. There's bound to be fights. Hahaha. Well, it's usually be between me and my mum. Well, things are good now. As usual. Also, I've been going to the market for the past 3 days. Straight. Well, went there early in the morning, so, it was'nt that bad. Except for today, of course. All the Muslims out in full force to make final preparation for Hari Raya. Also, been doing landscaping too. Hahahahaha. Real, pure fun. Well, it's for the corridor in front of my house. My parents wanted to arrange the countless number of flower pots that my grandmother has in a more orderly and presentable way. So, there I was, early in the morning arranging and carrying flower pots with my dad. Doing work with him has never been boring. He'll just make working fun with his funny antics and sarcasm and bad luck. Like how he was carrying the huge flower pot my mum had, and out of a sudden, his pants dropped. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. **breathes** HAHAHAHAHA. What a way to kick off the day. So, the end product was good. Everyone felt satisfied with how my corridor's looking.

On another, random note, I just felt like talking about this. I think most of you should've known what Kanye West did during Taylor Swift's award receiving ceremony during the VMAs. So, here's her comment about the incident.

Hahahaha. Well, it's much of a pity though. Having someone to spoil your first time. Still, gotta complement on how well she dealt with it. Took it with alot of maturity and professionalism.

Lastly, to end this post, to all those people whom I know out there, My dearest Faz, My Peacedudes, The ExpressO! crew, Anak-anak melayu W35F & to all muslim readers out there,

Kalau ada jarum yang patah,
Jangan disimpan di dalam peti,
Kalau ada silap dan salah,
Jangan disimpan di dalam hati.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!

Minalaidil wal Faizin wal maqbulin. Maaf Zahir dan batin.

Di sini, saya, Ahmad Mustaqim Bin Muhamad Abdul Halim ingin menyusun sepuluh jari meminta maaf jikalau tersilap kata, terkasar bahasa, terguris hati, tersalah makan, tersengaja minum. Maafkanlah ye? Sedangkan Nabi ampunkan umat, Inikan kita sesama manusia. Selamat menyambut lebaran di samping yang tersayang. (:

Well, basically that's it.
I'm done.

Last Lap.

2009-09-12T15:10:00.002+08:00

Heyyyyyyy people. Here I am updating. Sorry for the irregular posting. Yupps. Been really busy nowadays. I've got so much stuff nowadays. Gamelan from Monday to Wednesday, since Reflections is getting so near. Annndddd, it's like one week left before puasa ends. So, i get really busy around the house doing what males would usually do when Hari Raya comes. Hahaha. Soooo, gamelan for me was'nt that bad. I'm starting to get a hang of it. And, I got a few shocks out of this week alone. They're good ones la. Hahaha.

I really don't know whether to put my blog on hold or not. I mean nowadays i'm just really busy with so many stuff that I need to do till there's no time left for updating. Hmm.

Well,

I'm done.

Wish.

2009-09-05T14:49:00.004+08:00

Hahaha. Like after sooooo long. A picture at that memorable corridor. Ony this time, we graduated already. Except for one, of course. Hahahaha. No hard feelings eh. Well, it was taken when we went back to YC for teacher's day. Well, not all were there. But, heck, we enjoyed our time.

Well, I'm updating from JE's library. Well, solely because of the reason that blogger works well at the library. Like, Hva Faen. Well, into the 2nd week of the holidays and it somehow gets better? Well, basically due to the fact that it was teacher's day this week. Hahahaha. Well, it's kinda fun getting to meet up with each other after some time. Well, the school's alot more bigger now.

There's like also Gamelan. Hahaha. I get to meet beloved Faz! Okay, okay, I know. I'll keep quiet. We were like basically preparing for Reflections 09'. Somehow, I'm starting to enjoy gamelan alot. The fact that mostly the budak-budak melayu of W35F are also in Gamelan just made it more fun. I'm starting to learn alot of stuff.

Well, I know this might be very un-sweet, whatever it is, but, I felt that I should say this.

a very happy, belated, 18th birthday to Siti Nurfazlun binte Tahir! :D

Okay. A fact about me. I'm a sucker when it comes to being romantic and stuff. I've never been really good at that. Every try, it's an epic fail. I'm sorry I could not get you a present or something special. Only a simple birthday song from me over the phone. The simplest gift that I can give to you. Well, it might be fine to you, but, it's just the sense of guilt in me. Ya. Well, at least you enjoyed your birthday, and that's what that counts. Enjoy being 18, sayang. (:

I'm done.

Stay Forever.

2009-08-29T14:43:00.002+08:00

Heyyyyyyyyy, here I am updating.

I still feel really light-headed since I turned in quite late last night. I had to drop by TJ's macs since my dad had a meet-up with his friend about some personal matters. And, being typically himself, my dad forgot to bring certain stuff and I had to send it to him. -.- Oh wells, at least he belanja-ed me, so it's all fair. & I also saw Leia, My band's ex-senior. Msged Faz the whole night, since she was watching Eiffel, i'm in love. And she blamed me for spoiling the climax. -.- Can't blame me whatttttt. I get too excited sometimes. Slept around 1.

Woke up for Sahur and I only ate cereals for Sahur today, since I was too full after eating an upsized Big Mac meal from last night. Hahahaha. Waited for subuh and then i I continued my sleep.

Woke up around 10 and watched History Channel. Yes, people. I watch that channel. It's not boring kay. Ask Thahirah if you don't believe me. Hahaha. It's about Russia and during her time as a monarchy. Well, it's about Tsar Peter the great. I betcha won't understand a single shit I'm talking about. Nvm.

And now, I'm at JE's library, waiting for my brothers to finish their tuition. & I notice certain things work at the library, such as BLOGGER. -.- Oh wells.

& I'm still hesitating whether I should go back to YC this monday. Hmmmm.

Oh wells,
I'm done.

A standing ovation.

2009-08-27T12:27:00.000+08:00

Heeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, here I am updating.

Well, currently, i'm addicted to Delain. Yea. Just in case you have no idea what's Delain, they're a symphonic metal band from The Netherlands. And I feel that they're worth listening to. Even Faz agrees with me. Heh. And to those who still misinterpret metal for satanic, full-of-headaches, music, it's not. Well, the satanic one is black metal laaaaa. Don't mix up kay? You see, there's alot of subgenres in metal. Like there's....

BLACK METAL = Satanic, corpse paint, Those industrial nail cuffs, goat's head.

BRUTAL DEATH METAL = Deep growling, gory lyrics, Cannibal corpse.

MELODIC DEATH METAL = Growling, more melodious guitar riffs and stuff, Arch Enemy.

TECHNICAL DEATH METAL = Growling, more technical, complex, guitar riffs.

SYMPHONIC METAL = Clean Vocals (i.e. NORMAL SINGING), sometimes there's growling and other stuff, usually collaborations with symphonic orchestras, Majority of the bands have kickass female vocalists, the few mellower subgenres of metal.

FOLK METAL = Collaboration of old folk music instruments like accordion, bagpipes, blablabla. Vocals? Hmm. that one need to research more.

Well, that's the few subgenres of metal bands that I have in my playlist at the moment. Why i'm posting this is because people seemed to always have misconceptions about the music I listen to. So, Sarah, I listen to symphonic metal kay? If you don't know what symphonic metal is, go listen to my blog playlist. That's symphonic metal, for you.

Hahahaha. Okay, now back to the main point of me writing this post. Well, I noticed my W35F classmates are writing some sort of a tribute to everyone in the class. Especially, anak-anak melayu of W35F. Therefore, I feel obliged to do the same thing as well. Hmm. Where to start eh? Okay, I know,

AZHAR - Well, we might not be given sufficient time to know each other really well. But, at least we know each other better now right? Hahaha. At least you don't think that I'm not kerek anymore. We've been going together a few times already and I feel that I get to know you better. Well, we'll still meet each other during gamelan. But, still I'll miss that funny laugh of yours. Like how Syai puts it in his way, "Macam ade bende stuck kat tekak" Hahahaha. All the best with your future & Last long with your girl kay?

ZUL - Hmmmmm. Zul eh? Well, I also never really get to know you that well. But, still I think you're a cool guy. Well, one things for sure that I know, Diam-doam kau, berisi. Hahahaha. Real pleasure to get to know you and work together with you.

SYAI - SYAI! Hahahaha. Hmmmm. Well, what to say about our brader dikir barat here? Well, he's W35F's joker, that's for sure. Cracking everyone up with his jokes and stand-up comedy. I owe alot to this guy over here. He's the one that brought me out of my shell. Well, in a forceful way that is. Hahaha. But, still I owe most of my happiness to him. And I'm really thankful for that. Yea, you might not have luck in love this time, but, patience, my man. True Love will come to you. And, I share your mourning of the recent loss of your Gilera. Best of luck in your future and see you in gamelan!

MIRAH - Mirah. Hmmmmm. Kakak Kanchong spider kite. Hahahaha. Well, you gotta cool down manszx. And cut down on your panicky attitude ya? Stop being so pessimistic laaaaaaaaaaaa. You're real smart, just that you need to have confidence tau. I owe alot to you since you always save my ass for programming. Hahahahaha. I'll miss the distractions you make during UT, that's your hand movements and the clicking of your pen, in particular.

SARAH - Hmmmm. I guess we rarely talk? But, all I know is that when we do, we can go real crazy. Hahahaha. Great fashion sense you have sometimes. Real pleasure knowing you. All the best in your future kay? & I'm not going to stop listening to what i'm listening to! Hahahahaha.

AIN - AIN! Hahahaha. Well, She's the first person ever that I talked to in W35F. Sociable, bubbly personality, that's for sure. Ohoh, and you have kickass vocals manszx. Get well soon for your operation. We're in the same boat. Hahahaha. I seriously can picture you kicking people's butt in a major singing competition laaaaa. Annnnnnnnnndddddddddddddddd, You really love your guy. Which is cool. Last long with him kay? Stay as you are.

FAZLUN - Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Well, I really have to agree with what you said, we really came a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooongggg way. From like not talking to each other at all, to what we are today. The first person in RP, that really grabbed my attention. Heeeeeeeeeeee. Ya, I admit I'm stalking you in one way or another and I'm really surpirsed at how people are so attentive at details. I never really heard you play the piano before, but, maybe some day? I sing, you play. Hahahaha. It's been really fast that now we're entering the 3rd week together. I really hope to the day where we can meet again. I love the way you are, so, never change kay? Ohoh, glad to know you're starting to have interest in symphonic metal! Heeeeee.

It's raining heavily outside, and you're the one I miss most at the moment.

I'm done.

And now it begins.

2009-08-26T12:35:00.000+08:00

Heyyyyyyyyy, people. Here I am updating.

Well, yesterday marks the last day of mytime with W35F. Yea. Thinking back, it felt so fast that 16 weeks just pass us by so fast. But, in this good 4 months, friendships are made, bonds between classmates are strengthened, Class spirit ignited within us and also new love found. (:

I'm still not sure how i'm going to move and re-adapt after this, but,oh wells, I still have 5 weeks before that happens. All I know, I'm sure I'll have a hard time re-adapting myself in just 16 weeks. Well, that's me for you. Hahaha.

I don't want to talk about UTs right now, but, I think I did fairly okay for all the papers, except for programming, as usual. Hahaha.

Well, after UTs yesterday, played the twister game with anak-anak melayu W35F. Really had loads of fun. I always end up at the final two. Cool or what? That proves that I'm totally flexible. Hahahaha. After that, we just basically lepak-ed at RP since this would be the last time we spent time as classmates. We basically jsut played card games and stuff, and I must admit I'm a total dumb cock when it comes to playing those types of card games. Heh.

And, now, begins my 5 weeks of so called "vacation", which at this moment, is'nt for me. Well, basically it's all based on the fact that I have ngaji, straight for this fasting month in the morning. And continued by terawih and then more ngaji. Sometimes, I really wonder why i'm fated this way. And, I sometimes feel really, really tired with my kind of lifestyle. And, it's a real frustration when I always miss outings with my friends due to my really hectic lifestyle. And, to make things really bad is when people can't understand the situation you're in. I mean I don't really blame them for not understanding the situation I'm in right now. I also hnever asked my life to be programmed to be how it is right now. I really wish I could run away from the life I'm born into. Hmm.

Too much time on my hands, I got you on my mind,
Can't ease this pain, so easily,
When you can't find the words to say,
It's hard to make it through another day,
And it makes me wanna cry,
And throw my hands up to the sky.

I miss you so.

I'm done.

First Day.

2009-08-22T13:01:00.000+08:00

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, here I am updating.

Well, today's the first day of the fasting month. Like pffffffffffffft. Oh well, all i know I have alot to do. Yea. My parents have set certain stuff for me to do. Like dotdotdot. addddoooiiiii.

Hmm, so yea. That's what I was told to do. ON THE FIRST DAY.

Well, will update more next time.

I'm Done.

Frustrations.

2009-08-21T07:43:00.000+08:00

Okay, blogger is being a total bitch nowadays. like fuck.

Well, UTs had been fine. I guess I can say that it went fairly well.

Anyways, I found my long lost buku pantun and my 3 songbooks! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO~ Like so happy right now. I still remember when me Haqeem and Asfari were level champions for the pantun competition. I guess no one really remembers it, but, well, I do. And also times at SHQ! (remember?!) Hahahahaha. Writing down all the inspirations we had in our mind and stuff on the book. I still have it dudes. It's kinda torn and tattered, but, I'll let it be that way to remind me of the good ol' times I had at YC. Although, I must say this, but I still think the school's management now is BS. Like which alumni won't agree with me. Hahaha. Just frustrated laaaaaaa. Not being able to revisit your alma mater is just a shitty feeling after so much memories there. I hope some kickass person would be posted to that school and turn things around manszx. Hahahaha.

Well, I'll end this post with a few interesting pantun that I think I should share.

Pohon berembang di atas gunung,
Tumbuh di bawah pohon meranti,
Janganlah hidup berulang jantung,
Menunggu dia sampai mati.

Buah pauh delima batu,
Anak sembilang di tapak tangan,
Sungguh tinggal beribu batu,
Jauh di mata di hati jangan.

Aaaaalllllleeeeerrrrrmmmmaaaaakkkkk.
Baik tak, baik tak?
Hahahaha.

Oh wells. Gonna end it here.
I'm done.

Like, At last.

2009-08-15T12:06:00.001+08:00

Heyyyyyy, here I am blogging.

Well, Life's been really great for me nowadays. Although there's only left like a week left with W35F. I'm soooooooooooooo gonna miss quite a lot of people. especially you.

I'm gonna do a proper update about yesterday. Well, it's programming for yesterday. Yes. The most pain in the ass subject that was ever created by mankind after maths. It's not as bad as maths, but, due to the fact that i have a really fucked up faci to teach me that module, it really makes me hate the module alot. Me and the other malay kids except Azhar like left school after the 2nd break. Hahahaha. Went to causeway point to have lunch. Me and Zul went to An-Nur for Friday prayers. We arrived kinda late so we had to like pray outside. In the intense, Singapore, midday heat. Cobaan to the kemuncak seh. Hahaha.

After that, took bus back to Causeway Point to watch movie. We watched Up anyway. Really, really funny show. After the movie went for gamelan recording. And, I just realised that I was going to perform for the upcoming performance at TRCC. Like wow. Gamelan's okay la. I can catch up with things so far. After Gamelan trained home. Washed up, solat, did RJ and left home again to pick up my mum from her Teacher's Day dinner. I fell asleep quite fast after that since it has been quite a long day for me.

Woke up quite early this morning. Nenek left around 7 to go to Johor to alter my cousin's Hari Raya outfit. I finally got to workout after quite some time. I gotta keep in shape manszx. NS is like getting oh so close. Did weight training. And now I'm like so freaking bored at home.

Awak, jacket kite da bau awak. Sedaaaaaaaap. Heh.

I'm done.

Contented with where I am now.

2009-08-14T21:39:00.000+08:00

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy, here I am blogging. Indeed, it's been avery tiring week. & it's the last week of the semester which means it's my last few weeks with W35F. Pffffffft. I'm so gonna miss the class.

Anyway, I transfered from Dikir to Gamelan since Dikir's attendance is quite dissapointing. Therefore, I decided to leave. Enjoyed gamelan quite alot & obviously I learnt new stuff from there.

With the time that's left, I want to grab as much time as I can, just to be with you. This love is deeper than any relationship I've been in before. I really, sincerely love you.

Missing those days.

2009-08-13T14:25:00.002+08:00

Those were the days where books and education were still not a priority to us when it is to others. I just missed those days. Featuring the day where I got flagpoled on my brithday. (during the fasting month! How Ironic. -.-)

Okay, That's it.
I'm done.

Old times.

2009-08-11T16:18:00.004+08:00

Hahaha. I still can't stop laughing at the class photo. It was like pretty random what I did to Faez in the pic. Well, it was informal and I had no idea what to do so I just grabbed his head and boyyyyy, did it come out good. Sorry though. Hahahaha.

I was bored in class so I rummaged through people's blog archives. Well, Rafi and Nabilah in particular. This is just a small bit. It's sec 1/2 album. I was just damn bored during maths so this was what I did. Hahahaha.

Well, I'm done.

Happiness: as you define it.

2009-08-11T11:37:00.006+08:00

Okay. Pics from my unexpected Malacca trip yesterday. Hahahaha. I was damn blur to think that the family was actually heading for Johor, but they're not. Woke up damn early. Slept in the car and was awoken by the ruckus. To my surprise, I woke up with the sight of a traffic policeman talking to my dad, with my giving that innocent look. After much effort, I finally managed to digest the fact that we were at Malacca and that my Dad was told to pull over for speeding. -.- However, my dad somewhat managed to smoke his way through by claiming he did'nt speed. LOL. Now I understand where I got my talents for smoking my way. Hahahaha. So, my Dad got a hell of a nagging from my mum then. Like LOL. Okay. Had really late breakfast. Did some grocery/raya shopping. After all of that, headed back to Singapore. On the way, managed to catch 2 accident scenes. No wait. It was 3. Really, really freaky accident scenes.

Cleared Singapore customs around 8+. Headed to makan shiok! for dinner. Throughout the journey, was messaging her. Yes. Hahaha. Was kinda tired by then. Tried to sleep when someone had to disturb me. Yes. Nabilah Binte Sadali, you are guilty of waking me up from my sleep. Hahahaha. She was excited laaaaaa about someone-we-know.

It's gonna be the last week of school. Just a few days left with W35F. Gonna miss all the beautiful peeps of my first class in RP. So many things that happened in this 1st semester. Well, in short, Life changed for the better. And I'm pretty contented with it.

At the moment, I feel that my brother, Fatah, understands me the most at the moment. Maybe it's because of the fact he'll be in secondary school next year and that's what that might cause the sudden maturity. Nowadays, we can talk many things together. Many-many things.

And also, I feel that somewhat, my mum is worried that somewhat I'll spoil her reputation? I don't know laaaaaaaa. It's just my perceptions. Perceptions I get by the way she talks to me sometimes.

And in a split second, life takes a turn. A really wonderful turn. A turn that really changes everything for me at the moment. I wish time would just stay still, just to be with you.

I'm done.

Unexpected Dedication.

2009-08-09T17:57:00.000+08:00

Well, I got the shock of my life reading Syai's blog. Yes, at last that guy has a blog. Well, THANK YOU SYAIFUL AMIRIL BIN HAJ MOHAMED ( betol tak? ) for such thoughtful words that you said on your blog. At least aku hafal jugak full name kau, kan kan kan? Hahaha. I could'nt get this far if not for your help dude. Yes, I would treasure her with all of my heart. I will always pray for you dude. May you find your true love soon.

Write a simple message here.

2009-08-06T12:33:00.005+08:00

Heyyyyyy people. Here I am updating. Today's progrmming. Like hyphen dot hyphen (copyrighted) / dot dot dot (also copyrighted). Aaaaaaaddddddooooooiiiiii. I can't believe I'll be dealing with this shitass of a subject for the next 2 years. I hope I'll get a kickass faci by then that'll revive my interest in the module. Well, I can't wait for tomorrow's outing with the usual ossuarium dudes. Yea. Well, it was by my request anyways, which would be quite weird for them since I rarely request for outings. Haaaaaaaaa~ Well, I just wanna record songs that I and the other dudes have written. Just for old times' sake. I still have that torn YC jotter book where I'll just jot down any inspirations that me or Shak have and slowly we'll work on it till it becomes a song. I guess that's like the most treasured object that I'll ever have of my secondary school days because most of the songs that are inside are the sweat of Shak and me.

I don't why I'm doing this but I'm actually promoting everyone's favourite metalhead, THAHIRAH's kickass vocals. LOL. Well, it's all Epica songs. So, if you like the songs, go find it online. (:

Haaaaaaaaaa~ I hope she does'nt mind me doing this, though. Hahahaha.

So, to have a fair share of fame/shame, I'm posting this video as well.

It's a song called Mesmerised which was Shak and my work. Pardon me for the bad video quality and the very amateurish standard. Well, the fact is, the band that I was in that time was'nt really fixed at that time so we had many switches of players.

MESMERISED.

I've got no words to say,
How much I love you babe,
I never wanna see you go away,
You left me so mesmerised,

I'm lost in the dark sea,
Your smile is the lighthouse guiding me,
You left me so mesmerised,

Your laughter's a symphony,
And I'll be the melody,
Of the song we used to sing,
Under that great oak tree,

I'm mesmerised by her laugh,
I'm mesmerised by the time,
You looked at me in the eyes,
I swear I saw love in yours,

I hope that you can understand,
How much I'm mesmerised by you,
I'm mesmerised by you,
I'm mesmerised by you.

(I can't really remember the second part)

They say it's all about trial and error,
They say after 3 tries you'll get it right,
I'm putting my hopes and faith in that,
I believe.

Edit: 5.13 PM //

Okay, I'm still in school. Rafi told me in the last minute to go crash course for 1,2,3,4 ( I love you ) by plain white T's and Lovebug by Jonas Brothers. Really complicating songs to sing but heck, I'll just give it a go. I skipped Programming 6th presentation for today somehow sice Syai called me to come down and meet him at the Lawn. hahaha. Oh wells, time for me to go.

That's it.
I'm done.

It's time to play the game.

2009-08-05T12:14:00.005+08:00

Heyyyyyyyyyyyy, here I am updating. Break time now so don't start ranting that I am an irresponsible student who updates his blog during school hours. Hahahaha. Well, Gonna have dikir barat later after school. I can't make up my mind whether to continue or to change to another IG. I mean the interest is there, but if attendance is less than convincing, there's no reason for me to go, I guess.

I suddenly miss my peacedudes clan so much seh. I mean those were the first few friends that I made during my secondary school life. It's not that I do not miss the other firends la but I just out of a sudden reminisced my sec 1-2 lives, which were so carefree and where we would do the most awesome and stupid stuff that we have ever done. Okay la. I'll be frank. I think the most awesome stuff that I usually do during my sec 1-2 lives was bullying Nabilah throughout. I also miss the ExpressO! crew, whom I share alot of memories with them, aku miss korang jugak. Adoooooiiiii. It's been a while since we've met la. The last outing that was planned went wrong, so I really hope there will be another outing so we can catch up with each other kay? Also to my lovable Band Clique too. I miss you guys very much. (:

So, if these people that are mentioned who are reading this, WE GOTTA MEET UP ONE OF THESE DAYS AND CATCH UP WITH EACH OTHER SIOL.

Nurul Wirdasari Binte Bazuri.
Muhammad Faez Bin Muhammad Sahid.
Nabilah Binte Sadali.
Nurul Syafiqa Binte Subhi.
Nur Atiqah Binte Noor Rahim.
Muhammad Yasser Bin Johari.
Amirul Hafiz Bin Ahmad Safaruddin.
Sulaiman Bin Zainal.
Muhammad Idris Bin Ya'akob.
Shakthiya S/O Subramaniamm.
Ang Wan Teng.
Christina Tan Pei Ching.
Kalaivani D/O Serga.
Siti Suhana Binte Muhammad Thamrin

Okay la, the others I don't know their full names la.

Samantha.
Cheryl.
Nuzrath.
Haqeem.

And all the ExpressO! crew and Band Peeps that I missed out. I never forget about you guys kay? We all must really meet up. (:

Syai seems so fascinated by metal somehow since i showed him Arch Enemy's "The day you died" and Behemoth's "By The Left Hand Ov God". Hahaha. And I'm surprised to the kemuncak that he actually listens to Iron Maiden. Hahaha.

Lastly,

Hahaha. I still can draw la seh. There's still artist blood in me. Hahaha. I mean after soooooooooooo long trading the art room atmosphere for D&T workshop hecticness. [:

P.S. [for Thahirah and Rafi] Expect drawing for Coginitive. (:

& I still need confidence. Adddddooooooiiiii.

I'm done.

//edit: 3:44 PM

I just can't stop laughing at this freaking video. I know it's a bit dirty la. But, look at Cristiano Ronaldo's Expression. For girls, I think better don't watch this vid la eh.

SEE! SEE! SEE! Hahahaha.

This is also funny. Patrice Evra and Park Ji Sung. Evra is so funny and vain la. Hahaha.

This is also quite nice. Evra and Tevez giving Park a surprise party in between an interview.

Well, that's it people. Got Dikir later. Hmmmmmm. Procrastination. Addddooooiiii.

I'm done.

Edit: 5:25 PM

Still waiting for Dikir to start. Addddoooooiiiii. And NABB, What did you see? HAHAHAHA.

Falling Deeper.

2009-08-04T16:03:00.002+08:00

I'm falling deeper and deeper.
I really, really think it's you.

How to.

2009-08-03T14:30:00.002+08:00

Heyyyyy. Here I am updating. It's maths today but here I am updating. Well, maths on a monday = brain not functioning well. Yea. Hahaha. I missed soundcrusher since I got emceeing duties to the on the following sunday. Rafi, Thahirah and Shak went for the gig. Judging by what they say, it sounds like the show was kickass. Damn I think I just missed on of the shows which showcases Top Singapore metal bands! Adddddoooooiiiii.

My sundays was really, really taxing. Left home early in the morning at 6 since those helping out for the 5-a-side gots briefing at 7. I was a total gundu to arrive at 6.30. I was like a dumb cock waiting at the gate. Hahaha. Emceeing duties were'nt that bad. I thought it was average. I don't know how the other guys think but, ya. After that, I left for my Tahfiz classes. I could'nt keep myself awake since it had been a long day and due to the reason that i did'nt get to eat my lunch. Like Vad Faen. After classes attended jemputan cukur rambut ( I don't know the english translation but it's where families celebrate the birth of their newborn baby.) It's from Cik Rashid, my dad's ex-colleague and my lil bro's swimming coach. So that invitation somehow became my late lunch. Lucky. Hahaha. Went back and watched Garfield 2 on tv! Hahaha. Really darn funny show.

I really don't know what I should do,
Make the next move or just do nothing with it,
I think I do,
I think it's true,
I have that feeling,
I think it's you.

I'm done.

Haaaaaaaaaa~

2009-08-01T09:53:00.000+08:00

Heeeyyyyyyyyyyyy. Here I am updating. Hahaha. Well, things pretty awesome nowadays. Yeah. I've got awesome friends who are always there to share the crazy moments with me and stuff. Well, yesterday was Sarah's birthday. Which was somewhat cool with the collages and the small piece of cake. Simple but yeah, cool.

After school went to Jurong Lake Park with the ossuarium dudes. We were wailing ourselves off there with the guitars. Hahaha. AND I FEEL SO BLOODY GUILTY OF WHAT I HAVE DONE TO SHAK'S FINGER. Sorry, indian man. Heh. I can be so clumsy at times. I actually sat on his finger and it caused a very deep cut to his finger. Like, fuck, fuck, fuck. Sorry dude. Well, Shak was his usual self, freestyling and stuff. Which was so funny.

My Dad and my littlest bro went of to Johor today for family gathering at Mersing. I want to tag along but I just got too much work and planning to do for tomorrow's event. Fuck laaaaaaaaaaaa. I want to meet up with my aunties and uncles and cousins and nephews whom I have not met for quite a looooooooooooooooooooooooooong time. The last time they came to Singapore, I was in Australia. Adooooiiiiiiiiii.

& I suddenly feel so super duperly happy to the kemuncak. I'm over the moon, over the bumbung. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~
High gillleeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr siol.
Adddddoooooiiiii. Now I know how Thahirah feels. Faen. Now She'll bully me.

That's it.
I'm done.

Just for old time's sake.

2009-07-30T13:05:00.004+08:00

Heyyyyyyyyyyy. Here I am updating since programming's being a pain in the ass for me. Hahaha. I decided to change my blog song due to the high school memories it holds. Remember this sing guys? Hahahahaha. Hmmm. All the good times.

I know I'm kinda going into old school mode now, but, recently, I've been watching comedies from P. Ramlee. Mostly, bujang lapok series ah which totally will crack you up like what if you're malay, that is. I'm not being racist but the movie in malay whatttttt.

Oh! Die Pakai Exhaust Besi Rupanya! LOL!

This is the memorable ones I'll ever remember.

Lastly, Rafi's favourite song. Hahahahaha.

And I still can't figure out how come I end up in my school's anti-smoking campaign without me knowing. Kurang Asam Betul HMMMMMMM. KEJE SAPE JEKK. Make me drop my water face. Hahaha. LOL.

That's it.
I'm Done.

Making a comeback.

2009-07-29T14:41:00.003+08:00

Oioi people! Hahaha. Back updating my blog since our beloved metalhead THAHIRAH bugged me into doing so so she'll not feel that she's the only one blogging. Been busy for this month lately. Abang Hafiz's engagement just past last sunday. First time siol rewang-ing and stuff. Woke up early in the morning to collect all the necessary stuff for the engagement. I did'nt get to take much photos. & another opportunity missed to take photos with my cousins. Sigh. Oh wells, should find another opportunity to take photos together manszx. I am sooooooooooo wishing that a Camera would drop from the skies one fine day. Heh. XD

Pardon me for bad photography. I am never a natural photographer anyways.

Yesterday's staying back with anak-anak melayu of W35F was crazy! & I can't stop laughing at the Videos till now. Go to Kak Siti's blog for more details. (:

Well that's it.
I'm done.

Trouble.

2009-07-16T13:38:00.002+08:00

Heyyyyyy, here I am updating. Programming today. Well, what I can say is programming sucked since the past few weeks. It's because none of the software used for programming can be used and the faci is'nt helping that much in solving the problem. -.-

So, as usual went to youtube and I found something quite interesting.

The following are on of MJ's last few performances with his brothers or better known as The Jacksons or Jackson 5 at Madison Square Garden, New York. The concert was an appreciation for MJ's 30 years as a performer and it also features Nsync. And what I like was that the performance was pure energy and emotion. You can see the fans' appreciation for the guys.

Those days.

2009-07-15T13:45:00.003+08:00

Heyyyyyyy, here I am updating. Well, gonna go to penin after school since Rafi and Thahirah want to pick up their "Rise Of The Tyrant" CDs at Hell's Lab or as Nabilah puts in her own way, "Death Zone". Hahahaha.

Speaking of Nabb, texted her throughout last night. Pretty cool to talk with my somehow best friend/bully victim. Hahaha. Somehow, it was fun talking to her. Biatch. LOL.

& I miss jamming times during buzz ninetyeight days. Pfft.

And Lastly, ALI G IS REALLY FREAKING FUNNY. The following video is an interview with posh and becks. Becks is speechless throughout.

//edit: 10:06 pm

Oh wells, here I am updating. Just helped my mum with her lappy since there's a hell lotta trojans in hers. Hahaha. I have no idea what she did to her lappy. Went to penin just now with Rafi and Thahirah to pick up their CDs at hell's Lab. Mike, the store owner, is kinda cool. Although, the way he talks is kinda weird. Hahaha. No offence though. Went straight home after that since Thahirah was hungry and wanted to go home straightaway because she does'nt have the money. Got home before my mum which was really weird because usually she arrives first. Washed up and had dinner. Msged Nabb and Wir around 8+.

Well, after much self-reflection, I realised something. I don't really need to be loved. I just need someone to talk to. Yes, that's the answer that I found for all the bullshit I have to go through called moving on. Yupps. That's perfectly it. I don't really need to be loved at the moment. I have all the love that I need. From friends and family- 2 sources of love that are so ever important to me. Ahmad, ahmad. Why does it take so long for you to kick some sense into yourself? Hahaha. Well, at last i can breathe again and I never felt better. (:

That's it. I'm done.

Change.

2009-07-14T14:45:00.003+08:00

Heyyyy, here I am updating, in between a presentation. How bad a student I can be? Hahaha. Oh wells, Highlights for today would be Thahirah wearing flat pumps or whatever that thing is. Hahaha. Yes, I'm not joking. Thahirah, EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE METALHEAD is wearing girl stuff. Hahaha. She keeps complaining about blisters and stuff. and the usual me would be laughing my ass off and the usual Rafi would be giving the WTF face before laughing even harder than me. Hahahaha. DOUCHEBAG!

Oh wells, I chatted with Nabilah "The guilty/nurse/blur-cock one" Sadali. Hahahaha. She always feels guilty about whatever she does. & what she told me in the morning was darn funny. Hahaha. Sayang kau jugak la, babe.

I don't know why but I feel random today putting this video. (LOL!) Enjoy!

And the english version.

Don't Stop Till You Get Enough.

2009-07-13T11:43:00.003+08:00

Heyyyyyyy, here I am updating.

Firstly, tag replies.

Thahirah Erlandsson: Will relink ASAP! (:
Nabilah: Aku tau, kelakar kan? But, poor Rafi la. Singaporeans. -.-

Hahahaha. Okay. Weekends are'nt really that good not bad. Saturday was spent watching History/Discovery/National Geographic Channel. Then set off to ngaji. After that had meeting for the soccer comp. at CWSS. I was appointed announcer. Great. -.- Hahahaha. Oh, well. I guess I'll give it a try.

Sunday had more ngaji. Luckily there was'nt Tahfiz this week. Auntie Shiela came in the afternoon. & I got more free clothing. Hahaha. Pass-Me-Downs.

Parents told me the confirmed date of Abang Hafiz's engagement. It'll be on the 26th of july. A sunday. Daaaannngggg. So much stuff happening in July and August. I gotta keep track of my schedule.

Oh well, it just seems that I can't get enough of Epica. Especially Simone. Heh. & She sounds better acoustically. Awestruck by her vocal prowess.

Okay, since there are many july babies, Wishing the july babies a happy birthday.

10th - Wanteng.
11th - Rafi.
15th - Ami.
20th - Shak.
27th - Wir and Wid.

There is still a place that fulfills me.

2009-07-11T12:53:00.003+08:00

Heyyy, here I am updating. Finally, got to woke up late today. Overslept and nearly missed Subuh. Got up, solat and back to sleep after that. I did'nt bothered to memorise the Quran since there's no Tahfiz for this sunday. Thank god. I really need my rest. Slept like a pig till 10, since I came back quite late last night. I'm sorry to the ossuarium crew for ditching every friday's outing. I really can't make it on fridays.

Well, something that was really fun happened yesterday while we were getting off the train. As you know, getting out of the train during the evenings at Jurong East = HELL. And, basically, yesterday was Rafi's birthday celebration at school so he's bound to get presents and a cake right? Everything was in this plastic bag. We were like making fun of Thahirah before we got off the train since Thahirah has the habit at swearing at people who does'nt give way to her when she wants to get off the train. But, yesterday was special. As we were getting off the train, some fat woman actually rushed into the train AND BUMPED INTO RAFI'S BAG WHICH WAS HEAVILY LADEN WITH PRESENTS AND A CAKE FROM BAKERZIN and that was the first time I saw Rafi totally pissed off. He was swearing like "Bbbaaaaabbbbbiiiiii! Sial punye pompuan tak tau sabar! Da la gemok!" and all other wearing words in malay. I feel his frustration. He kept swearing all the way till Lakeside. Hahahaha. Rafi, Rafi.

well, Syafiq asked me for symphonic metal songs early in the morning. Think I u torrent ah?! Hahahahaha. I think yesterday's outing kicked some sense into him.

I'm done.

Much better times.

2009-07-10T10:28:00.003+08:00

Heyy, here I am updating. Well, I feel much more better now since I have learnt to let go of things in my life and express it all out. Really thankful to Wirda, Rafi and Shak for being there for me all along. You guys are the best, and I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart.

Well, I just am so loving this song for now. Solitary ground by Epica.

Simone Simons is bloody one hot of a woman. And her vocals are totally awesome. If only I live in The Netherlands. Heh.

"It's never easy to satisfy oneself. You control your own mind while others you can brainwash them, you see. Find something new to replace the lost love. Memang susah but if you don't move on, life would be miserable."

- Nurul Wirdasari Binte Bazuri, my peacedude. (:

I'm done.

No idea what to type here.

2009-07-09T09:10:00.003+08:00

Heyyy, here i am people. Updating. I got programming today. Total killer. Oh well, gonna go to JE again with the usual people. L4D babyehhhhhh! Hahaha. Ever since Rafi updated L4D for me, I'm stuck to the game again. Just don't ask me to play together as a group, because, my aiming sucks to the core. Just ask Rafi and Thahirah the number of times I incapacitated them. Hahaha. That was how bad I was. Considering the fact they were playing in expert mode when I'm a total sucker at it. -.- Tried talking Shak into watching Harrpy Potter and The Half-Blood Prince. The result was an Epic fail. He still insists on not going because he knew there's gonna be a part where Ron and Hermoine are gonna kiss each other. Shak, Shak. You will never know how cheesy and random he can be at times. Just read his bloody blog and you'll understand what I am saying.

On a total random note, I just wanna talk about moving on. Yea, moving on. I just need a source to vent all my frustrations that I bottled up in me for quite some time. I don't know for whatsoever reason, I always find it hard for me to move on after a break-up of my relationship. The last time, it took me 2 years to really move on. I really have no idea why but I always find it hard for me to move on when people take quite a short time to do so. And now, after breaking up from a 9-month relationship, I bet it's gonna be even harder for me to move on. Even though, a few posts ago, I might said I've moved on, but, moving on is'nt as easy as it seems. I still have this small piece in my heart that keeps holding me back. I feel so frustrated because even though I keep telling myself to keep moving, the surroundings are'nt helping because I have to many things that keep reminding me. I mean should I like throw it all away? I really have no idea. If I really have moved on, why do I still keep doing the same old things? Why do I still care for her? Why did I read her blog just to check on her? Pfft. I don't know where does the fault lies. I feel so pissed off at the moment. A pep talk or two or maybe a hug would really help.

Okay, enough of the emoshit stuff. I'm still not happy with Wacken's band lineup this year. It's mostly shitty. Except for a few bands, of course. I'm so glad Epica is part of the line-up. Woooooo~ The new drummer and guitarist are'nt really that bad. They have a bachelors' degree in music. What can you expect? Bachelors' degree in music = sleep, drink, eat, breathe MUSIC. Not forgetting that they have a totally hot and talented vocalist.

Lastly, I'm so happy Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono won the Indonesian Presidential Elections. I know I'm a Singaporean, but, heck. Politics just turn me on. Hahahaha. I know, How Ironic.

" True love is like the loch ness monster or the yeti. Everyone knows it. But, we don't believe it till we see it. I refuse to believe it till I see it."

- Shakthiya "The Wise one" subramaniamm.

Coolness, no matter how random and cheesy he may be, whatever he says is sometimes wisdom. Hahahaha.

Okay, That's it.
I'm done.

A question from a friend to his best friend.

2009-07-08T09:29:00.002+08:00

Heeyyyyyy, here I am updating, IN SCHOOL. Yea, school's started. Thank god. No more the damned e-learning! Yeay! So, yesterday, after school waited for Rafi and Thahirah before going off to JE to do our assignments. Rafi was the first to arrive at south agora. Followed by me. Thahirah was ate because her faci dragged the 6P. So, basically yesterday was Thahirah's bad/unlucky/hungry day. I'll explain.

Firstly, she gave me and Rafi a rude shock when she met us after school in braids. IN BRAIDS, I REPEAT. Rafi and I were laughing our asses off the whole time since it was a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong way back that she last braided her hair. So, we needed time to get used to her stand-up, one day, hairstyle (as usual). It's in a guy's blood to laugh/make fun of girls when they change to a new or revive their old hairstyle babe. (:

So, secondly, what really defined Thahirah's bad/unlucky day was the Earthworm. Yes, I repeat THE EARTHWORM. So, basically, me, Thahirah and Rafi were making our way to JE library when I saw a poor Earthworm on the floor. And being the Lover of Allah The Almighty Creations (chehbah, masuk bakul angkat sendiri siol aku), I pushed Thahirah aside so that she would'nt crush the earthworm while shouting earthworm. And, shockingly, everyone's favourite metalhead, THAHIRAH, actually freaked out and shouted like any typical girl would do. I repeat, THAHIRAH FREAKED OUT AND SHOUTED LIKE ANY TYPICAL GIRL WOULD DO. Once again, Rafi and I laughed our asses off. Only this time, harder. And I tried the same trick again when we went home and it did the same thing to Thahirah, AGAIN.

Lastly, which epically defines Thahirah's bad/unlucky day was when we were ordering food after a tiring day. So, we decided to buy Ramly burger at the Stall near JEC. Me and Rafi were totally surprised when she actually ordered 3 BURGERS. Yes, I'm not making this up and your eyes are'nt playing games with you. THAHIRAH ACTUALLY ORDERED 3 BURGERS. Rafi and I were shocked because a girl could outdo our appetite. She has seriously one big appetite, that metalhead.

So, at the end of the day, Thahirah earned herself a new nickname!

It's.....

wait for it....

THAHIRAH"THE BRAIDED, EARTHWORM-PHOBIA, 3 BURGERS ONE" Erlandsson!
Hahahaha. Credits to Rafi"THE CHEESY ONE"Ammott for that cheesy, funny shit. LOL.
And, Rafi, I feel your pain about what you heard about Angela. Hahahahaha.

I guess that's it.
I'm done.

Faen = Fun

2009-07-02T14:17:00.002+08:00

Heyyyy, people. Here I am updating. Currently indulging in an msn convo with anak-anak melayu W35F. Coolness. And they seem fascinated with Norwegian/finnish swear words. Hah.

Classical & Metal infused.

2009-07-01T14:59:00.003+08:00

Heyy people. Here I am updating. Just done with my e-learning stuff anyways. Kinda jaded. E-learning was'nt bad today. Did my e-learning withmy groupmates and somewhat I took over the job as facilitator for the day, explaining what should be done and what the questions in the worksheet meant. Yea. Kinda fun though. Hahaha. Especially, bullying when bullying kakak siti. **Inside joke**

Well, I woke up early in the morning to receive somewhat good/bad news:

Mom: Chebah, Abang da jadi pakcik seh.
Me (in sleepyhead-still-in-wonderland mode) : what are you talking about?
Mom: Kak Sarah (My cousin) just gave birth last night. Baby Boy.
Me (at last in alert mode) : ARE YOU SERIOUS?! FAEN! I'm getting old.
Mom: Yes, and why do you keep saying FUN? (LOL!) Da jadi Pak Long seh. Abis la pas ni die main bola dengan pakcik-pakcik die.

For you non-malay-speaking homosapiens, go get a translator to understand the malay parts. (:

So yea, I'm getting old, age is catching up with me - and as Faez puts it in his own way - "YADA, YADA, YADA"

I feel so old. Now I'm an uncle already. Sooner or later, I'll be graduating from poly. Then, I'm gonna go for NS. Then, I need to find my life partner, YADA, YADA, YADA. Damn it. Now I realise I need to enjoy life. FAST!

Oh well, dropping that subject, I watched Bolt and Step brothers today. Cool Movies. Watching High School Musical 3 now. That's how bored I am. Mugging on Movies. Haha.

Well, I checked out a video that Thahirah and Rafi showed me not a long time ago.

This is cool? Wait for the other one.

Okay, ignoring the fact that they look like Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, THEY ARE TOTALLY RAD/AWESOME! Infusing classical music and metal. Not anyone can do that, you know. And, He has LED on his fretboard markings. How cool is zaaattttt?

Okay, I'm done.

Perceptions.

2009-06-30T15:52:00.008+08:00

Oh well, here I am people. Updating. My e-learning lesson was'nt as bad as I expected it to be. It was so since my faci added the whole class to his msn. So, it was easier for us to rectify our problems with him. Should I say it was a breeze? Nahhhh. Not really. It's better to have a real lesson in class with the person teaching in front of you. But, however, I think today's e-learning lessons was the best so far.

I've been downloading movies from utorrent nowadays since I have internet access with me for the whole day. So, today I watched Nick and Norah's infinite playlist.

Well, I got to know about the movie through TV. Since they're showing it on starhub's Demand TV. It's really a good movie. About how sincere love is. You guys should watch it. (:

Well, other than that, I'm gonna talk about MJ's death. Kinda a shock to the world on how such a great entertainer has passed on. But, I'm still kinda shocked on how certain people react to it. There are still some people out there who still call him boy molester and stuff. I mean, what the heck is that all about manszx. He's dead/gone. Can't like you guys forget about it already? You can't just keep going on like this. Everyone makes mistakes. Yea, he's wacko jacko, but, I see him in a good way. Besides, all those charges made against him about child molestation, it's over. and he's proven innocent. Maaannnn~ I can't believe how people behave sometimes man. Just give him some respect. A respect any great musician should deserve.

I'll end my post with a vid. Hope you guys will learn something "informational" about it. Hahaha.

Total boredom.

2009-06-29T12:41:00.002+08:00

Heyyyyyyy, here I am updating. Bad news for me, for now. The bad news is, I am home quarantined and my "vacation is extended till friday. So, that means that I have to endure e-learning for another extra 2 more days. Like WTF seriously. The worse part is that I have to refrain from going out. Vad Faen ah. -.- So, basically, I pass by time youtubing/chatting/tv/eat/shit/sleep. THE WHOLE DAY. & Thahirah let me listen to a really cool song. And that shall end my post for now.

Open to attack.

2009-06-27T13:06:00.004+08:00

Heyy people. Here I am updating. Oh, well, weekends never felt better since there's no e-learning. Heh. My head's throbbing since I slept at 2+ because I could'nt sleep. Went online and had a lil chat with Nabb. Watched Viva La Bam and The dudesons on youtube too. Woke up around 5+ for solat subuh and my parents made me do work straightaway. -.- So, that explains my headache. Hah. Carried back all the stuff back to the kitchen since the renovation's done. Woo~ Thank god. No more loud noises, dust etc. & I have to say I really love my new kitchen. Heh.

Annnnndddddd, I just got an update from Reuben that John contracted H1N1. Like OMG!!!!!!!! Damn. I hope my class would'nt be quarantined for more days. I just can't take the e-learning anymore. And, most importantly, I HOPE NONE OF MY CLASSMATES GOT INFECTED TOO!

Well, I'm now soooooooo missing jamming. & I have no idea how the Ossuarium project is coming along.

Oh, well, that's it.
I'm done.

Total boredom.

2009-06-26T14:32:00.003+08:00

Heyy, here I am updating. Well, Im basically told to stay away from school for a week. Which means I need to do e-learning, which totally sucked balls. The first e-learning was for programming, Which I sucked alot at. Well, I'm not alone. Hahaha. Basically, most of my classmates were struggling with the questions that were given on the worksheet la. I spent most of my time watching the dudesons. Hahahaha. It was funny shit.

Science's e-learning today was a lil bit better. Encountered a few problems here and there. But, it's all good. I'm still waiting for the faci to release the RJ so I can get done with this crap.

Oh ya, btw, MJ's dead. Not forgetting Farrah Fawcett. May the both of them RIP.

Nak ape eh?

2009-06-24T09:30:00.003+08:00

Heyyyyyyy, here I am updating, dudes and duddettes. (:

So well, I came to school with Rafi just now since Thahirah wanted to come to school late with her classmates. I guess my presentation yesterday for my enterprise skills was better than the past few weeks, but still, it's below standards for me. Oh well, chatted with Sha during the 2nd study break. Asked her how was the outing on Monday. We talked about lots of stuff yesterday since it's been ages we've met each other and get to talk. It's also since I did'nt talk to her when we met up the other day since I was rushing to leave so we never really had a proper conversation.

Other than that, I also chatted to Atikah, someone who actually added me on friendster, who happens to be Qayyum's cousin. We used to chat online but lost contact for a while. But, we contacted again somehow. Hahahaha. Fun chatting with you again, friend. (:

Anyway, on another note, I added Mas Daryl on facebook. For those who don't know who is he, He's someone who I got to know when I went to Melbourne for my Australia trip last year during my vacations. And he has an album or two? What I meant was he has his own music album and the songs are'nt really bad. I kinda lke it alot. It's more to the R&B genre. But, heck, I still love it. I'm kinda universal when it comes to music. Remember that.

I somehow still can't make up my mind on whether to join Dikir Barat or Gamelan? Which one should I join manszx. Help. Anyone?

And did I mention Simone Simons has windmill-worthy hair? Sooooo cool. :D

I'm done.

Epic ah!

2009-06-23T09:38:00.003+08:00

Heyyyy.Here I am updating. Well, yesterday's outing was'nt much of an outing because I only got to spend only 15 minutes with my 6E clique. Well, I still enjoyed it even though it was only 15 minutes. Most of them changed dress wise, but, it's still the same people deep inside whom I know during my primary school days. Aizat still calls me "Stokin busok". -.- Hahahaha. It was really fun being with them and getting to meet up again after so long.

Basicallly, I trained down to dhoby ghaut wit Syaful and we changed trains to get to harbourfront. Went to habourfront centre's maccas since we planned to meet there. Instead, Syaful and I had to wait for 2 hours for them and they told us to meet at banquet. So, in the meantime, did all the work that I had there. Chatted with Nabb to understand things better. It was all cool since Nabb was the only expresso who was online at that time. We chatted about loads of stuff from school to the vid on her blog. & it totally made me forget that time passed by. Well, you know I just miss messing around with Nabb. Hahahahaha. & I have no idea why.

And now, I basically decided to change my blog playlist yet again. It's back to the basics with classics with metal stuff. & everyone's favourite metalhead THAHIRAH just sent to me epica's cover of Pirates Of Carribean. It is totally dope manszx. No wonder they're Epica. There's so many epic stuff you can do with guitars and double-paddled drums. Fascinating magic. (:

Special Days.

2009-06-22T10:08:00.002+08:00

Okay, I know yesterday was Father's day & I totally forgot about it, despite the countless ads on Father's day on TV. Great. Just great. Well, I had no mood with my dad yeterday since he's pestering me to polish his boots. His reason? His boots shine when I polish it. Yea, I konw that should be a compliment but when threatening me he won't pay for my prepaid if I will not polish it is never a good idea. Yea, I know it's stupid when I got pissed of just because of that. But, heck. I always screw up special days like Mother's day, Father's day, My parent's birthday etc. I mean there's bound to be something stupid happening such as quarrels and stuff. Like, Vad Faen. Pfft. But, I still try not to follow my emotions.

Oh well, There's gonna be 6E outing later. I can't really fucking wait! Hahahaha. Well, I went to school with the usual duo of Rafi and Thahirah. We were like talking about politics in the train. In particular, Malaysian Politics. Rafi and Thahirah were also like making fun of the kid beside us. I know it's bad, but, when you have someone wearing a band shirt which we totally hate, it's just toooooo tempting. Hahahaha. we know we're total A-holes. (:

Oh well, back to my studying.

I'm done.

In Need Of Entertainment.

2009-06-18T09:05:00.002+08:00

Heyyyyyyy. Okay. Here I am updating during school hours. I know I'm not being an exemplary student whatsoever shit, but, who gives a flying fuck? Hahahahaha. Well, currently I'm finding time between lessons to watch the movies that Shak gave me a few days back. So far, I watched Night At The Museum 2, Jackass no. 3, Superhero movie, Epic movie and most recently, Sex Drive. Watched it last night on my lappy. It was a cool show. & I agree with Shak, Amanda Crew really played her part well in the movie as a Emo, Tomboy girl. It was really, really good and it addressed the social problem of kids who receive peer pressure of losing virginity at such a young age. Yea. I really like the movie. & did I mention that Amanda is really hot? Like, totally manszx. Hahaha. Oh well, gotta get back to paying attention to lessons. Will update more later, if I have the time that is. (:

Controversies.

2009-06-16T09:37:00.005+08:00

Heyyyy. Here I am updating. During school hours. Hahaha. Typical me. Kinda not feeling well in the stomach today. I don't know why. Hmmmm. Should have not eaten before going to sleep I guess. Hahaha. Well, Fit and yass dropped by RP, which was totally cool and rad as it was the perfect start for your back-to-school by mmeting your old mates. Totally cool. Took pics on Thahirah's lappy. EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE METALHEAD. Hahahaha. I soooooooooooooooo love calling her that. Yasser was bugging Rafi to let him use his laptop as yass wanted to watch pitbull's music video which does not fall into the category of music that Rafi listens to while Rafi was busy disturbing Thahirah about We-know-who. Heh. Shall not defame our favourite metalhead publicily.
Hahahaha.

So I'll bring out a totally random topic to talk about here. It's about the recent transfer about the supposedly world's best player and most expensive player on the planet, whatever shit you call it, Cristiano Ronaldo. Yeah. His recent move from Old Trafford to Santiago Berneabeu for 80 million pounds which totally broke the recored and makes him the most expensive player on the planet. Seriously, speaking, from a Man Utd fan, there's nothing that we can look up to him manszx. It's like a total no surprise that he moved to a club which lost badly to our arch rivals from the Merseyside. Yes, of course he's seen as a footballing prodigy when he just arrived from sporting lisbon with his nifty footwork and stuff and he might create history by being the player that has scored the most goal's in a season. But, after the being crowned as the world's best player, that guy has totally changed like seriously. Being a man utd fan, I frankly speak that when he had just arrived as a 19 year-old player, I admire him as a player. But, ever since the world's best player award, that guy's a changed man. Diva-like attitude on and off the pitch, I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooo anti him now. Yes, Fergie might plead him twice to stay, but, that guy should'n t show his tantrums manszx towards the team that nurtured him until what he is today. His performance at Rome clearly proves he's a diva. Like fuck. So it's time he move and let new blood prove their worth.

And, lastly, I have a weakness for jazz and soul music. So soothing. The best genre other than metal to soothe my nerves.(:

I'm done.

//edited- 11:34am

haha. okay, I don't know why i'm updating again, but ya. just a few vids, I guess. Since I read something on Idris's blog about the Jai Ho song in hindi. Heh. I agree with Idris though. A.R. Rahman's version in Hindi is better than the rendition by PCD. It's lesser of a headache and it has the pure Hindustan vibe to it which purely defines India. So, that explains the 2 Oscars. Shak would be so proud. (:

Oh well, I'm still freaking bored & I need more songs, although my playlist is now so darn full till hundreds. Hah. What else, all-metal. Well, gotta update my PSP playlist.

Back To School.

2009-06-15T11:51:00.003+08:00

Okay. It's back to school for me. Yea. Holidays were fine. Except the 5 hour shopping trip around Masjid India which was a total killer. In and out of shops and my mum could'nt decide on what to buy. In the end, she only had like 3 bags of stuff. 3 small plastic bags. -.- The best parts were when we were on our way home since the whole bus belonged to our family since no one was on that bus back to Singapore. Totally felt like I was on a tour bus. Other than that, the trip to auntie Asmah's bunglow in Kluang was thaa bomb. Like seriously. I enjoyed myself to the max there. Heh. So, now it's back to my laptop and lessons. Pfft. Anyway, I can't wait for 6E (2004)'s outing at Sentosa! We got a lot of catching up to do with each other manszx. I really hope I can go. The class that was once called LIVERPOOL, since majority of the class were Kop heads. -.- I MISS YOU GUYS SEHHS.

Adakah perasaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta,
Yang masih,
bersemadi untukmu,
Dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan di sebalik senyuman mu itu,
Kau juga,
merindui aku.

For the eyes only.

2009-06-04T12:36:00.002+08:00

so, just a few pictures from W35F's sports fiesta. Hahaha. Credits to Siti for her wonderful photography. I lazy to update more. I'm bored.

I'm done.

Conflict.

2009-06-03T10:28:00.006+08:00

Heyy, guys. So,as my title has stated clearly there's been conflicts around nowadays. Yes, big ones. Firstly, there's the conflict between me and my ex-girlfriends. So, that's kinda settled. I got over it and moved on, Rafi told me now that she's hooked up with a guy that I expected to be her next one, so, ya, I don't really give a fuck about what's happening.

Secondly, there's this conflict between my family. Yes. In particular, me against my whole family. Well, basically, it happens because I was'nt doing my part in keeping the house clean. Okay, I admit i'm being kinda lazy, but, you don't have to call me undependable right? Pfft. So, my mum was kinda ranting the whole day since she came back from work. I just kept quiet and gave the can't be bothered attitude. I mean, it's my holidays, can't you give me a freaking break? When, I had my long vacations, did I once did'nt do the work that you asked me to do? I did it okay, without any objections. And now you're calling me undependable. Then, my lil bros have to add fuel to the fire. Fucking little baastards. Erghhhhhh. I mean, dude, you did'nt do anything the whole day too manszx and now you're acting good and doing all the work and calling me a freaking lazy bum? Fuck yourself, you asshole. So, my dad came home later and he asked me whether I did anything the whole day, so I just answered a big fat "No, I just became a lazy bum the whole day." & I gave him a sarcastic smile. Not a good birthday present for him, I know. But, it's better to tell the truth than lying right? So, later he entered the room and I could hear the conversation between my mum and him. & all of a sudden, he came out screaming I'm undependable. Great. -.- I could'nt be bothered so I turned in early, thinking it will stop. But, it continued al the way till morning manszx. So, I woke up and my grandma was on the phone. She was talking to her sister and her sister was asking why she did'nt ask me for help for certain things. And, guess what, she also said I'm undependable. -.- Like triple, jumbo FUCK. I mean, what do i have to do to make you guys know that it'smy holidays and I deserve a rest. I'm getting effing frustrated and sick about this matter going on and on. I mean everytime I have holidays, I'm made to do work, when I already have enough work and school and now you're piling it up. Like what everyone's favourite metalhead, Thahirah would say, VAD FAEN! Gosh. Is it so hard for you guys to understand that I want my holidays to be undisturbed. I want to live like a normal teenager too manszx. Is it that really hard for you guys to understand me?

Lastly, the conflict between my once brother and sister 29, Yasser and Nabilah. Well, I treat them as my own siblings now, I mean I treat all the Expressos like family. So, bak pepatah melayu, peha kanan dicubit, peha kiri juga terasa sakit. So, this is just my opinion & i'm neutral. I mean, come on, you guys are my best friends manszx. & it's not pretty looking at the both of you quarelling. I don't think that's my only opinion but all of expresso. Tak cool la tengok korang gaduh macam ni. I just hope you guys can be friends again.

And, to wrap it all up, My blog song is for all the heart-broken, devastated, confused kids out there. I feel your pain. (:

I'm done.

Haywire.

2009-06-02T10:21:00.002+08:00

Hey guys. Stuck at home now. And my head is rumbling due to all the work going on in my house. Serious speaking, my house is a total mess at the moment. I really hate the holidays as my family would take full advantage to avoid their responsibilities. Usually, my grandma is at home, tending to all the needs the construction workers needs and stuff. But, since they knew I would be at home for the whole day today, everyone just vanished early in the morning. Great. -.-

So, msged Shak and gave him advice last night. Hahaha. The good old days where Shak would come to me for advice on what to do for certain guy things. I promise I won't be an ass this time dude. (: I've yet to ask my parents whether I can go out on Saturday to accompany Shak and show him around where to buy soccer boots. No, Shak's not in the soccer team, he's in touch rugby. And the rugby guys usually use the same boots as the soccer guys, so, ya. Get the logic? Yea. I wanna go out but the usual gang's all busy. Shak and Wirda still has school. Rafi's still working. So, i'm stuck at home. I really wanna get back to playing soccer manszx. My totally bleeding, blistered feet are itching to kick balls manszx. Daaaaaaannnngggggg~

That's all for now.
I'm done.

Sports fiesta.

2009-06-01T15:00:00.004+08:00

Okay. I'm currently feeling very tired right now. Left home early in the morning to RP since the W35F kids are having some sort of self-organised sports fiesta. Hahaha. Played soccer, basketball and tennis. There was'nt the full strength there. But, heck, I enjoyed myself.

So, my mum actually packed lunch for me. Same old stuff, fried rice. Well, at least there's something. So after washing up, went online. My uncle MSN-ed me. :D He was asking how was my family and stuff. & he's waiting for us to come to KL and he's pretty excited to bring us to his new home in Klang. Heh.

Btw, ask me out people! I'm free for a week. Going KL next week.

I'm done.

Demented Eradication.

2009-05-30T15:10:00.002+08:00

Heyyyyyyyyyyy. here I am updating on a Saturday Morning. I woke up really late today since it had been a long night. Someone from my dad's side passed away last night. I can see my dad's kinda dissapointed and sad about it, even though he does'nt show it. I know it because that someone really did quite alot eversince all the various problems that happened towards my family and that person played a significant part in helping to irn out the problem. Furthermore, she's like a mother to my dad since my dad never really lived with his family.

Okay, enough of the bad news. The good news is, my lil cousin, Aziz, is gonna represent Singapore in the upcoming AFC under-13 soccer competition in Sabah. Congrats, cuzz. I have no idea if he's gonna find out about my post. But, i'll just post it. Just as a sign how happy and proud his cousin is. Although, I must agree we're not as close as how other cousins that I usually see. But, blood is thcker than water. At least there is a sense and feel of care and compassion there when he knew I had and operation and he visited me. So ya.

I gave yesterday's SYF gala night last night a pass since Shak and Rafi could'nt watch the show just because their hair is long. -.- It's total bullshit masnzx. The most dumbest school policy that I've ever heard. At least I got to meet with the band peeps and the other ExpressO! crew. Which is like totally cool since we really missed other very much. Just my personal opinion, but, YC really looks dead nowadays. During my batch and the previous batches before me, school was really fun and lively. Soccer sessions till 7, Staying back at the study corner just to discuss about school life, playing the guitar and singing our hearts off just to let off steam after a long day and having fun during ASPIRE program where we are supposed to do our self study but we did'nt. It was great fun being jackasses back then. Nowadays, when I pass by the school at that time, it looks really dead. There's totally no one. Yea, of course studying at home might be a better potion, but, you guys totally have no idea what you guys are missing manszx. I mean high school memories is the most strong memory that you'll have thorughout your life. So, kids, go wild in school once and a while. It'll seriously make your high school life more interesting and meaningful for you. It's worth it crossing the lines at times but know your boundaries. Add more life to the school manszx. It seriously looks dead.

I'm done.

Defeat.

2009-05-28T08:37:00.002+08:00

Okay. Man Utd lost in the champions' league final to barca. I gotta admit barca played a really good game and they kept posession really well. And, now I'm really freaking sleepy since I only manage to sleep just for an hour. Pfft. But, amazingly, I manage to pull through the programming module and faci said I did well? Weird much? Like LOL.

So, I manage to handle things well now. ever since the countless problems that I face, i learnt to be more stronger. I mean, I've faced so much upsets in life, and break-ups are the most biggest upset in this chapter of my life. I find it really hard to move on from break-ups, like seriously. It's the last thing that I would ever want to face. But, things happen in life, so yea. No matter how much I hate break-ups, I got to accept reality, no matter how much it hurts. I don't know if people that i'm talking about right now might read this post, but, I feel that I need a source to let go of feelings that I've been keeping for a long time. I know it's not really nice to lash out like that at people and people know I'm also not that type. But, I guess sometimes people just cross over the line and pulled the trigger. I don't blame anyone for this, but, I just want people to know that I'm not ignoring them because I hate them. I'm just ashamed of myself for lashing out at them. I really don't like to lash out at people. Maybe people might think that I'm running away from reality, but, I think the best way to save the friendship is to stop it, I don't want to be arguing with them anymore. I'm sick of it.

At times, i may just keep quiet when I'm not really happy with stuff. I mean, I'm not the type who just express my unhapiness to my partner. I usually keep it to myself. Maybe, that's what caused the downfall of a relationship. I just failed to communicate well with my partner? I don't know. I know I should'nt be controlling the circle of friends they're making with.

I really have no idea what is happening to me at the moment. Is it my fault? Or the other party is at fault? Am I being too egoistic until it spoils a friendship? Was it the right way? I don't know. I'm just utterly confused.

I don't know whether it's true, but, I'm happy to know that you've moved on. Things might never be the same, but, I think I better leave things the way it is. Although words are said one would find it hard to mve on, it's just surprising that you've managed to move on, faster than I've expected. But, I can't control this feeling. The feeling of falling in love with someone.

I'm starting all over again, back to the same point where I was a 11 months ago. Everytime it happens, I'm never the same again. I just have to pick up the pieces and keep moving on. I'm thankful to have such great friends who've been there for me. My smile says a thousand words. I'm not the type who shows off that I'm upset or stuff, so, it really takes a really great friend to understand my feelings. Thanks for being my moral support.

I'm done.

UTs, girls, melodeath,flags and more.

2009-05-26T11:48:00.005+08:00

Okay, i'm updating now since it's the study breaks. I'm gonna have Maths UT later & I have not learnt a single shit yet. I know, so typical of me. Hahahaha.

Okay, I know you guys are totally like going crazy why my blog song is by Bob Marley. Once again, let me tell you that I listen to nearly all types of music. I'm quite universal when it comes to music, as long as it's not dance music or Gangsta rap which are a total headache. I really like Bob Marley's style of reggae. It's the pure Rastafari, Jamaican-jived raggae. I'm not saying I don't like the modern raggae, but, it's just that I prefer the content of the pure raggae better.

So, basically, I had a long talk with Rafi last night. We talked on the definition and difference between death & melodeath, since i'm starting to write songs again. Frankly speaking, writing melodeath is a really huge project for me since the lyrics have to fit well with all those guitar riffs and drum beats and making it melodious. Been writing a few drafts and been asking opinions from different people, especially from everyone's favourite metalhead, THAHIRAH! Hahahaha. That's so gonna be my catchphrase for Thahirah now on. She's my quality control of songs since she's got the most experience about metal. Other than that, it would be Shak and Rafi, who I hope will be playing my songs someday, since I'm not joining the band. Why not contribute in some other way right? Spend my time more constructively. (: Ohohohoh, Rafi's band gots a really cool new name by the way. Ossuarium. Or something near that. All I can say is that they got the name after searching it in a dictionary. Hahahaha.

Well, other than that, I talked to Rafi about how my life really sucked at the moment now. I know it sounds really awkward but, Rafi's the only one who understands me at the moment. The only 2 malay, band guys in 3E4/4E4. What you expect? He's like totally my blood bro. Talked about how my realationship really sucks at times and talk about whether my patience led to my relationship's downfall & how i became really phobic to falling in love again. Ahhhhh, jeez.

Also talked to Rafi about Javanese sub-cultures, which was a totally random topic since we were talking about finding a partner later in life. We were talking about 2 of the most notorious sub-cultures- or, as what my father refers to them to as "flags"- The Boyan and Bugis. Hahahaha. We were talking about Thahirah being bugis and stuff. It was a really loooooooooooong talk last night.

sorrow within,
this broken soul,
The wounds so deep,
Hatred released,

The demon inside,
Cries for your blood,
Blood for my pain,
Blood for my pleasure,

Blood for my sorrow,
No more tomorrow,
No requiem for the vengeance,
Your blood my fulfilment.

Vermin-filled,
a demented soul,
I'll smash that head,
let it flow the brain the blood,
Poison yourself,
With Cyanide.

Just a verse from a song I just written, based on the current events happening. Comments are welcome. Brutal much, I know. Just tag. (:

This post is dedicated to Muhammad Rafi Bin Muhammad Rosli for being such a great friend of mine. Thanks Bro.

I'm done.

No Woman No Cry.

2009-05-25T17:37:00.002+08:00

Okay. I'm still in school now. Hahaha. UTs just ended. Enterprise skills today. Was quite okay for me. It's funny since I'm acing the non-diploma related modules and flunking diploma-related modules. Yea.

I'm seeking back to songwriting to realease my emotions. Since I'm starting to have thoughts of a serial killer. Like no joke. Okay. Got to end it here. Thahirah waiting for me. (:

290508 IS ALRESDY DEAD IN ME! You've moved on, I'll move. No point standing and letting this heart ache go on.

I'm done.

Hoping.

2009-05-23T09:38:00.002+08:00

Yea guys, hey. Here I am updating my blog. School has been freaking hectic. 2 Ds this week. Fuck. One for programming and one for science. Programming was because the freaking internet connection gave me countless problems in school, and, it said I never submitted my RJ when I freaking did! I am like so freaking fucked up now. Furthermore, the relief faci really sucked. & now the class appreciate our original faci, even though, she to sucked. But, she did not suck as much as our relief Faci.

For science, as usual, faci said I wasn't participative enough. But, at least he commented that my participation level was improving, so yea.

Well, the good news was it was my 5th straight A for enterprise skills yo! Although, frankly speaking, I did not expect that to happen since I did'nt talk much for presentation. Faci's comments was that I did well for my RJs.

Yesterday was audition for Jammerz Arena! Aaaaaaaannnnnndddddddd, guess who was the first person that got to be auditioned? Yes, ME. Since Thahirah did'nt want to go in first and Rafi was sabo-ing me. Thanks eh, guys. -.- I freaking screwed up myself during the auditions ah. Frogotten the lyrics. Other than that it's okay. But, still, forgetting the lyrics is every vocalist's worst nightmare! Like, shit. Thahirah's auditions was better. She said it was dope. I really hope I can make it through. I really, really do.

So, after the auditions I tagged along with Thahirah to buy her sushi at IMM since I'm not going home as I got religious class after that. Took bus 51 all the way to PP.

Okay, I know, I guess I'm one of the last ones to update about this, but heck, KRIS ALLEN WON! Yea. Not a big fan of him, but since Allison was voted out during the top 4 I decided to go for Danny but He too, got voted out at top 3. -.- So, went for Kris Allen instead. He was really the dark horse of the competition since he was in really much of an attention during the top 13. But, as time goes by, he starts to make a name for himself due to his consistent performances which were really good.

Aaaaaannnnnnddddd, I still can't stop thinking of Adam Lambert's performance with Kiss. Their performance was soooooooooooooooooo drop dead funny. It was due to their costumes la. The black metal make-up, the so freaking high platform shoes & the guitar wrecking, I mean WWWWWWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT? Why the fuck did you wreck your freaking guitar manszx? That sure costs thousands and he freaking wrecked his guitar into two. -.- It would be better if he gave that guitar to Rafi. He'll appreciate it well. I have nothing against Adam. I admit he's a good singer and his vocals are awesome and powerful, but, his high-pitched singing just makes my ears bleed. I prefer his more down to earth performances. The relaxed ones. Not the wailing ones. Just reminds me of Axl Rose. Hahaha. I can't believe I bother to watch American Idol. Haaaa~ But, this season's batch of contestants are wayyyyyyyyy more interesting and better than the past seasons.

Lastly, I really want to join Rafi's new band! Nvm the fact that it's a melodeath band, I really want to be in the band. I'll learn growling if that's what he wants. It's just because my past times nowadays are really dull. I really miss going to jamming sessions.

Mengharap waktu berputar kembali,
Akan ku perbaiki khilafku,
Untuk berada di sampingmu,
Sepanjang waktu,
Tapi sayang,
Inilah Kenyataan,
Semakin lama perasaan syang pudar dimamah usia,
Tanggal 29 mei 2008, sentiasa terpahat di hati kecilku ini,
Hati yang telah hancur,
Harapan yang tidak mungkin akan terjadi,
Inilah takdir hidupku yang pahit untukku telan.

That's it.
I'm done.

Nenek aku drummer Amon Amarth.

2009-05-22T08:15:00.005+08:00

This is what happens when Rafi is nervous about/pissed off at something. Notice how crazy he is? shocking eh? It's like he's drunk.

Okay. Basically, what caused Rafi to be nervous was his Jammerz arena auditions. It's drop dead funny when he's nervous.

Aaaaaaannnnnnddddddd, TODAY'S MY TURN!

shit.

Laiho is my middle name.

2009-05-20T09:34:00.006+08:00

Haha. Lol. Okay. I still can't get over yesterday's journey home. It was so fucking funny Thahirah nearly laughed her appendix out. Haha. So, Let's begin.

Well, basically after school yesterday, after doing the RJ and all the other stuff, I went home with everyone's favourite metal-head, Thahirah! So, she belanja-ed me the biscuit stick. So, while walking, I wanted to throw away my biscuit wrapper & unexpectedly I tripped over myself. -.- (so typical me) That tripping caused a sudden gush of shiht in my brain & I shouted out of random-ness LAIHO WAS MY MIDDLE NAME. It was fucking loud. That was seriously funny shit? I was like what the fuck did I just said? & there was Thahirah, choking on her siew mai, trying to contain her laughter. That was when the constant flow of shit in my brain basically started? HAHAHAHAHA.

I crapped all the way to Woodlands MRT station. Since Thahirah did'nt get over that incident, I was like " why not Ahmad Ammott?" Hahaha. I kept chanting that name a gazillion times. Then I decided to like combine it? Ahmad + Ammott = AHMADMOTT. Like, serious shit? & the crap did'nt stop there. It continued. ALL THE WAY TO LAKESIDE. Thahirah was laughing throughout the train journey and on the way home thanks to my constant shitty, random jokes.

So basically when we reached Lakeside, I told Thahirah this freaking random joke.

Me:Eh, Kau tau tak?
Thahirah: Ape?
Me: Aku kenal Alexi Laiho nye sedare.
Thahirah: Sape?
Me: FIZA-O!
Thahirah: **Laughing her ass off in the middle of a crowd**

That was how random I was yesterday. For those who don't understand malay, ask your friendly malay friends to translate it for you.

So, after that, when we were like walking home, I was like singing a totally random song involving anything which has a letter "O" at the back. It was something like this:

Laiho pegi beli oreo,
beli oreo, beli oreo,
Laiho pegi beli oreo,
Laiho kawan NABB-BELO!

& I tell you, I never seen Thahirah laughed that bad before. The last time she laughed that way was when Faez's Jackass stunt went horribly wrong. Haaaaaa~ I'm such an ass when it comes to being random. (:

Ahmad Laiho Mustaqim.
Thahirah Taslim Erlandsson.
Rafi Ammott.

The melodeath trio. LOL. Okay, Ahmad, stop your bullshit.

Lastly, just a few vids.

Talents of the Metal world: Daniel Erlandsson, Chris and Michael Ammott.

The Mainstreams just don't know what they're missing out on, do they?

Annnnnndddddd, This post is dedicated to Thahirah, because her heart throb is in it. Hahahaha.

Okay.
I'm Done.

WTF is this.

2009-05-16T09:22:00.003+08:00

Okay. Here I am updating. School's been fine this week except for the part where I got D for science. -.- Well, basically the problem statement for that week was a physics one and you guys should know how bad my physics is.

I did'nt get through the auditions for wind symphony. I'm not surprised la. I screwed up badly during auditions so I would need a miracle to ge through, but, the miracle did'nt happen. Don't really mind la. That leaves me with no IG now since I forgot to submit the online application. Rafi & Thahirah wanted me to go for the auditions for Jammerz arena. But, I'm still hesitating on whether I should go for the Auditions or not as I have no idea what song I want to sing. Frankly speaking, my vocal range ain't that high guys.

So, I changed my playlist, AGAIN. Thanks to Thahirah who got me hooked up to this oldies rock song by scorpions. My dad was like "you're listening to scorpions?" Maybe he was shocked because it was a huge transistion from Necrophagist, Keep Of Kalessin, Arch Enemy and stuff to the band once my father went mad about. Hahahaha. It's still his car's playlist. My dad staying true to the genre siol! Hahahaha!

Okay, now on a serious note, basically, it represents what I'm feeling now la. I don't know why, but, yes, IT REPRESENTS WHAT I'M FEELING NOW, PERFECTLY! Now, I'm feeling very fickle-minded. It's like all this stupid feelings all mashed up as one. It's freaking frustrating for me, seriously. I really hate the moving on part in life manszx. It's like this freaking huge thing in your path that keeps holding you back from going through your journey in life. That's why I think ditching love was a good option for me. I try to keep thoughts that it's normal. & I'm the type of person who find it's hard to express my feelings. Maybe what Faez said the other day was true. I look emo nowadays. If this is what my life is gonna be, then, let it be.
I'm set to looking forward to my education and other more important stuff, though it's hard.

Note to self: Never fall in love for now.

menunggu kedatanganmu, dalam sepasang kurung putihmu.
Kenangan lalu, masih terpahat dalam hati.
Walau pahit untukku lupakan, tetap harus ku tinggalkan.
Pandangan jauh ke depan, tiada yang menghalangku lagi.
Namun ku masih menunggumu, hatiku masih lagi sayu.
Bagai sembilu menusuk di hati.
Inilah kenyataan bagiku.
Salam sayangku kepadamu.

Alamak. Jiwang la pulak. -.-

That's it.

Eh, I forgot. I don't know whether that someone would read my blog, but, heck,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO LIJUN.

(:

I'm done.

Hoping For The Best.

2009-05-13T20:17:00.002+08:00

Okay, my interview for wind symphony was pretty okay. I really really hope I'll get through. I mean like I never sign up for other IGs, so, wind symphony is my only hope. Although I messed up totally during the auditions. :P

Well, my day was quite okay today. I'm getting along well with anak-anak melayu of W35F. It's really nice being able to be friends with them. But, We'll be together for 1 semester, which is like 16 weeks? & now it's like already the 4th week of the academic year, which means there's only 12 weeks left. Still, I'm determined to establish a strong friendship with them, although among them I'm like the youngest?

Today was cognitive processes and problem solving Module. I'm with Ain, Siti and Mira this time. I'm pretty happy with the presentation today. We did well. Good job girls. (:

So after the day ended, we had a UT experience. But, my laptop gave me freaking problems so I can't log in to the UT clent. After that, did my RJ for a while. Then, went to TRCC for the interview. After the interview, went home straightaway since I need to do my RJ, quiz and evaluation. Rafi & Thahirah left earlier since Rafi can't wait to get his arch enemy's tyrants of the rising sun dvd. He's been talking about it since the morning. Haha.

Nenek bought for me Roti Prata for dinner as she can't cook as my house is now under renovation. The kitchen, in particular. After dinner, I managed to have a chat with the guys who'sdoing the demolition job. & they are pretty young, I must say. There's 3 guys basically and 2 of them are 18. & I'm like freaking shocked because they are 1 year older than me and they travelled a really long distance just to make sure that their families back home are able to eat. They really make me reflect about life, seriously. Most 18 year-olds here usually are still at school around this age, at times abusing the privillege they enjoy & there they are, being so young and doing hard labour just to make sure their families won't get hungry.

Well, that's all for now.

That's it.
I'm done.

Auditions.

2009-05-10T18:14:00.002+08:00

Okay. So I need to come down for auditions tomorrow and I'm like so freaking nervous manszx. Gosh. I really want to join the wind symphony! ): Ross roy or Ponyo for audition piece, one sight reading piece, a few scales. The shitty thing is, I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER A SINGLE THING. gotta pray hard manszx. Really, really hoping to get a spot.

Shagged gilerrrrr.

2009-05-06T14:54:00.005+08:00

Okay. I'm currently freaking tired now due to yesterday's RP wind symphony tune-in session. I arrived home at 9.40 manszx. What you freaking expect? But, overall, the tune-in session was totally freaking awesome ah.

As I said, I enjoyed the tune-in session with the wind symphony. Tune-in pieces were to totally rad. Ross Roy and the theme song of some old cartoon called "mighty mouse" (Was the piece named "Antonio" or "Romeo" or Pornio"? :X ) Made a few friends along the way. And a few who were lookalikes. One looked like one of my friends in Sydney while one looked like Kak Aishah (my cousin). LOL. So basically I played the third trombone part. Typical of me to get that part. Haha. LOL. The band was friendly and the conductor was fun. But, the practice room was small and they could not accept all the applicants so we have to come back for auditions and interviews. I really hope I can get through because there are no other IGs that I am interested in. Some also is because of my operation, so I can't join any sport IGs. So freaking frustrating manszx. I should have went for dikir barat as an alternative. But, It's too late. -.-

1st classic vid. Weishan's totally comical in this.

the river -

Rafi first best song he ever played.

ahhhhhhhhhh...good times (: .

finally, THE RED DEVILS ARE ON THE WAY TO ROME BAYBEHHHH!

That's it.
I'm Done.