Thursday, May 28, 2009
{ 8:37 am }
Okay. Man Utd lost in the champions' league final to barca. I gotta admit barca played a really good game and they kept posession really well. And, now I'm really freaking sleepy since I only manage to sleep just for an hour. Pfft. But, amazingly, I manage to pull through the programming module and faci said I did well? Weird much? Like LOL.
So, I manage to handle things well now. ever since the countless problems that I face, i learnt to be more stronger. I mean, I've faced so much upsets in life, and break-ups are the most biggest upset in this chapter of my life. I find it really hard to move on from break-ups, like seriously. It's the last thing that I would ever want to face. But, things happen in life, so yea. No matter how much I hate break-ups, I got to accept reality, no matter how much it hurts. I don't know if people that i'm talking about right now might read this post, but, I feel that I need a source to let go of feelings that I've been keeping for a long time. I know it's not really nice to lash out like that at people and people know I'm also not that type. But, I guess sometimes people just cross over the line and pulled the trigger. I don't blame anyone for this, but, I just want people to know that I'm not ignoring them because I hate them. I'm just ashamed of myself for lashing out at them. I really don't like to lash out at people. Maybe people might think that I'm running away from reality, but, I think the best way to save the friendship is to stop it, I don't want to be arguing with them anymore. I'm sick of it.
At times, i may just keep quiet when I'm not really happy with stuff. I mean, I'm not the type who just express my unhapiness to my partner. I usually keep it to myself. Maybe, that's what caused the downfall of a relationship. I just failed to communicate well with my partner? I don't know. I know I should'nt be controlling the circle of friends they're making with.
I really have no idea what is happening to me at the moment. Is it my fault? Or the other party is at fault? Am I being too egoistic until it spoils a friendship? Was it the right way? I don't know. I'm just utterly confused.
I don't know whether it's true, but, I'm happy to know that you've moved on. Things might never be the same, but, I think I better leave things the way it is. Although words are said one would find it hard to mve on, it's just surprising that you've managed to move on, faster than I've expected. But, I can't control this feeling. The feeling of falling in love with someone.
I'm starting all over again, back to the same point where I was a 11 months ago. Everytime it happens, I'm never the same again. I just have to pick up the pieces and keep moving on. I'm thankful to have such great friends who've been there for me. My smile says a thousand words. I'm not the type who shows off that I'm upset or stuff, so, it really takes a really great friend to understand my feelings. Thanks for being my moral support.
I'm done.
