Heyyyyyyyyyyy. here I am updating on a Saturday Morning. I woke up really late today since it had been a long night. Someone from my dad's side passed away last night. I can see my dad's kinda dissapointed and sad about it, even though he does'nt show it. I know it because that someone really did quite alot eversince all the various problems that happened towards my family and that person played a significant part in helping to irn out the problem. Furthermore, she's like a mother to my dad since my dad never really lived with his family.
Okay, enough of the bad news. The good news is, my lil cousin, Aziz, is gonna represent Singapore in the upcoming AFC under-13 soccer competition in Sabah. Congrats, cuzz. I have no idea if he's gonna find out about my post. But, i'll just post it. Just as a sign how happy and proud his cousin is. Although, I must agree we're not as close as how other cousins that I usually see. But, blood is thcker than water. At least there is a sense and feel of care and compassion there when he knew I had and operation and he visited me. So ya.
I gave yesterday's SYF gala night last night a pass since Shak and Rafi could'nt watch the show just because their hair is long. -.- It's total bullshit masnzx. The most dumbest school policy that I've ever heard. At least I got to meet with the band peeps and the other ExpressO! crew. Which is like totally cool since we really missed other very much. Just my personal opinion, but, YC really looks dead nowadays. During my batch and the previous batches before me, school was really fun and lively. Soccer sessions till 7, Staying back at the study corner just to discuss about school life, playing the guitar and singing our hearts off just to let off steam after a long day and having fun during ASPIRE program where we are supposed to do our self study but we did'nt. It was great fun being jackasses back then. Nowadays, when I pass by the school at that time, it looks really dead. There's totally no one. Yea, of course studying at home might be a better potion, but, you guys totally have no idea what you guys are missing manszx. I mean high school memories is the most strong memory that you'll have thorughout your life. So, kids, go wild in school once and a while. It'll seriously make your high school life more interesting and meaningful for you. It's worth it crossing the lines at times but know your boundaries. Add more life to the school manszx. It seriously looks dead.
I'm done.
Thursday, May 28, 2009{ 8:37 am }
Okay. Man Utd lost in the champions' league final to barca. I gotta admit barca played a really good game and they kept posession really well. And, now I'm really freaking sleepy since I only manage to sleep just for an hour. Pfft. But, amazingly, I manage to pull through the programming module and faci said I did well? Weird much? Like LOL.
So, I manage to handle things well now. ever since the countless problems that I face, i learnt to be more stronger. I mean, I've faced so much upsets in life, and break-ups are the most biggest upset in this chapter of my life. I find it really hard to move on from break-ups, like seriously. It's the last thing that I would ever want to face. But, things happen in life, so yea. No matter how much I hate break-ups, I got to accept reality, no matter how much it hurts. I don't know if people that i'm talking about right now might read this post, but, I feel that I need a source to let go of feelings that I've been keeping for a long time. I know it's not really nice to lash out like that at people and people know I'm also not that type. But, I guess sometimes people just cross over the line and pulled the trigger. I don't blame anyone for this, but, I just want people to know that I'm not ignoring them because I hate them. I'm just ashamed of myself for lashing out at them. I really don't like to lash out at people. Maybe people might think that I'm running away from reality, but, I think the best way to save the friendship is to stop it, I don't want to be arguing with them anymore. I'm sick of it.
At times, i may just keep quiet when I'm not really happy with stuff. I mean, I'm not the type who just express my unhapiness to my partner. I usually keep it to myself. Maybe, that's what caused the downfall of a relationship. I just failed to communicate well with my partner? I don't know. I know I should'nt be controlling the circle of friends they're making with.
I really have no idea what is happening to me at the moment. Is it my fault? Or the other party is at fault? Am I being too egoistic until it spoils a friendship? Was it the right way? I don't know. I'm just utterly confused.
I don't know whether it's true, but, I'm happy to know that you've moved on. Things might never be the same, but, I think I better leave things the way it is. Although words are said one would find it hard to mve on, it's just surprising that you've managed to move on, faster than I've expected. But, I can't control this feeling. The feeling of falling in love with someone.
I'm starting all over again, back to the same point where I was a 11 months ago. Everytime it happens, I'm never the same again. I just have to pick up the pieces and keep moving on. I'm thankful to have such great friends who've been there for me. My smile says a thousand words. I'm not the type who shows off that I'm upset or stuff, so, it really takes a really great friend to understand my feelings. Thanks for being my moral support.
I'm done.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009{ 11:48 am }
Okay, i'm updating now since it's the study breaks. I'm gonna have Maths UT later & I have not learnt a single shit yet. I know, so typical of me. Hahahaha.
Okay, I know you guys are totally like going crazy why my blog song is by Bob Marley. Once again, let me tell you that I listen to nearly all types of music. I'm quite universal when it comes to music, as long as it's not dance music or Gangsta rap which are a total headache. I really like Bob Marley's style of reggae. It's the pure Rastafari, Jamaican-jived raggae. I'm not saying I don't like the modern raggae, but, it's just that I prefer the content of the pure raggae better.
So, basically, I had a long talk with Rafi last night. We talked on the definition and difference between death & melodeath, since i'm starting to write songs again. Frankly speaking, writing melodeath is a really huge project for me since the lyrics have to fit well with all those guitar riffs and drum beats and making it melodious. Been writing a few drafts and been asking opinions from different people, especially from everyone's favourite metalhead, THAHIRAH! Hahahaha. That's so gonna be my catchphrase for Thahirah now on. She's my quality control of songs since she's got the most experience about metal. Other than that, it would be Shak and Rafi, who I hope will be playing my songs someday, since I'm not joining the band. Why not contribute in some other way right? Spend my time more constructively. (: Ohohohoh, Rafi's band gots a really cool new name by the way. Ossuarium. Or something near that. All I can say is that they got the name after searching it in a dictionary. Hahahaha.
Well, other than that, I talked to Rafi about how my life really sucked at the moment now. I know it sounds really awkward but, Rafi's the only one who understands me at the moment. The only 2 malay, band guys in 3E4/4E4. What you expect? He's like totally my blood bro. Talked about how my realationship really sucks at times and talk about whether my patience led to my relationship's downfall & how i became really phobic to falling in love again. Ahhhhh, jeez.
Also talked to Rafi about Javanese sub-cultures, which was a totally random topic since we were talking about finding a partner later in life. We were talking about 2 of the most notorious sub-cultures- or, as what my father refers to them to as "flags"- The Boyan and Bugis. Hahahaha. We were talking about Thahirah being bugis and stuff. It was a really loooooooooooong talk last night.
sorrow within, this broken soul, The wounds so deep, Hatred released,
The demon inside, Cries for your blood, Blood for my pain, Blood for my pleasure,
Blood for my sorrow, No more tomorrow, No requiem for the vengeance, Your blood my fulfilment.
Vermin-filled, a demented soul, I'll smash that head, let it flow the brain the blood, Poison yourself, With Cyanide.
Just a verse from a song I just written, based on the current events happening. Comments are welcome. Brutal much, I know. Just tag. (:
This post is dedicated to Muhammad Rafi Bin Muhammad Rosli for being such a great friend of mine. Thanks Bro.
I'm done.
Monday, May 25, 2009{ 5:37 pm }
Okay. I'm still in school now. Hahaha. UTs just ended. Enterprise skills today. Was quite okay for me. It's funny since I'm acing the non-diploma related modules and flunking diploma-related modules. Yea.
I'm seeking back to songwriting to realease my emotions. Since I'm starting to have thoughts of a serial killer. Like no joke. Okay. Got to end it here. Thahirah waiting for me. (:
290508 IS ALRESDY DEAD IN ME! You've moved on, I'll move. No point standing and letting this heart ache go on.
I'm done.
Saturday, May 23, 2009{ 9:38 am }
Yea guys, hey. Here I am updating my blog. School has been freaking hectic. 2 Ds this week. Fuck. One for programming and one for science. Programming was because the freaking internet connection gave me countless problems in school, and, it said I never submitted my RJ when I freaking did! I am like so freaking fucked up now. Furthermore, the relief faci really sucked. & now the class appreciate our original faci, even though, she to sucked. But, she did not suck as much as our relief Faci.
For science, as usual, faci said I wasn't participative enough. But, at least he commented that my participation level was improving, so yea.
Well, the good news was it was my 5th straight A for enterprise skills yo! Although, frankly speaking, I did not expect that to happen since I did'nt talk much for presentation. Faci's comments was that I did well for my RJs.
Yesterday was audition for Jammerz Arena! Aaaaaaaannnnnndddddddd, guess who was the first person that got to be auditioned? Yes, ME. Since Thahirah did'nt want to go in first and Rafi was sabo-ing me. Thanks eh, guys. -.- I freaking screwed up myself during the auditions ah. Frogotten the lyrics. Other than that it's okay. But, still, forgetting the lyrics is every vocalist's worst nightmare! Like, shit. Thahirah's auditions was better. She said it was dope. I really hope I can make it through. I really, really do.
So, after the auditions I tagged along with Thahirah to buy her sushi at IMM since I'm not going home as I got religious class after that. Took bus 51 all the way to PP.
Okay, I know, I guess I'm one of the last ones to update about this, but heck, KRIS ALLEN WON! Yea. Not a big fan of him, but since Allison was voted out during the top 4 I decided to go for Danny but He too, got voted out at top 3. -.- So, went for Kris Allen instead. He was really the dark horse of the competition since he was in really much of an attention during the top 13. But, as time goes by, he starts to make a name for himself due to his consistent performances which were really good.
Aaaaaannnnnnddddd, I still can't stop thinking of Adam Lambert's performance with Kiss. Their performance was soooooooooooooooooo drop dead funny. It was due to their costumes la. The black metal make-up, the so freaking high platform shoes & the guitar wrecking, I mean WWWWWWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT? Why the fuck did you wreck your freaking guitar manszx? That sure costs thousands and he freaking wrecked his guitar into two. -.- It would be better if he gave that guitar to Rafi. He'll appreciate it well. I have nothing against Adam. I admit he's a good singer and his vocals are awesome and powerful, but, his high-pitched singing just makes my ears bleed. I prefer his more down to earth performances. The relaxed ones. Not the wailing ones. Just reminds me of Axl Rose. Hahaha. I can't believe I bother to watch American Idol. Haaaa~ But, this season's batch of contestants are wayyyyyyyyy more interesting and better than the past seasons.
Lastly, I really want to join Rafi's new band! Nvm the fact that it's a melodeath band, I really want to be in the band. I'll learn growling if that's what he wants. It's just because my past times nowadays are really dull. I really miss going to jamming sessions.
Mengharap waktu berputar kembali, Akan ku perbaiki khilafku, Untuk berada di sampingmu, Sepanjang waktu, Tapi sayang, Inilah Kenyataan, Semakin lama perasaan syang pudar dimamah usia, Tanggal 29 mei 2008, sentiasa terpahat di hati kecilku ini, Hati yang telah hancur, Harapan yang tidak mungkin akan terjadi, Inilah takdir hidupku yang pahit untukku telan.
That's it. I'm done.
Friday, May 22, 2009{ 8:15 am }
This is what happens when Rafi is nervous about/pissed off at something. Notice how crazy he is? shocking eh? It's like he's drunk.
Okay. Basically, what caused Rafi to be nervous was his Jammerz arena auditions. It's drop dead funny when he's nervous.
Aaaaaaannnnnnddddddd, TODAY'S MY TURN!
shit.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009{ 9:34 am }
Haha. Lol. Okay. I still can't get over yesterday's journey home. It was so fucking funny Thahirah nearly laughed her appendix out. Haha. So, Let's begin.
Well, basically after school yesterday, after doing the RJ and all the other stuff, I went home with everyone's favourite metal-head, Thahirah! So, she belanja-ed me the biscuit stick. So, while walking, I wanted to throw away my biscuit wrapper & unexpectedly I tripped over myself. -.- (so typical me) That tripping caused a sudden gush of shiht in my brain & I shouted out of random-ness LAIHO WAS MY MIDDLE NAME. It was fucking loud. That was seriously funny shit? I was like what the fuck did I just said? & there was Thahirah, choking on her siew mai, trying to contain her laughter. That was when the constant flow of shit in my brain basically started? HAHAHAHAHA.
I crapped all the way to Woodlands MRT station. Since Thahirah did'nt get over that incident, I was like " why not Ahmad Ammott?" Hahaha. I kept chanting that name a gazillion times. Then I decided to like combine it? Ahmad + Ammott = AHMADMOTT. Like, serious shit? & the crap did'nt stop there. It continued. ALL THE WAY TO LAKESIDE. Thahirah was laughing throughout the train journey and on the way home thanks to my constant shitty, random jokes.
So basically when we reached Lakeside, I told Thahirah this freaking random joke.
Me:Eh, Kau tau tak? Thahirah: Ape? Me: Aku kenal Alexi Laiho nye sedare. Thahirah: Sape? Me: FIZA-O! Thahirah: **Laughing her ass off in the middle of a crowd**
That was how random I was yesterday. For those who don't understand malay, ask your friendly malay friends to translate it for you.
So, after that, when we were like walking home, I was like singing a totally random song involving anything which has a letter "O" at the back. It was something like this:
& I tell you, I never seen Thahirah laughed that bad before. The last time she laughed that way was when Faez's Jackass stunt went horribly wrong. Haaaaaa~ I'm such an ass when it comes to being random. (:
Ahmad Laiho Mustaqim. Thahirah Taslim Erlandsson. Rafi Ammott.
The melodeath trio. LOL. Okay, Ahmad, stop your bullshit.
Lastly, just a few vids.
Talents of the Metal world: Daniel Erlandsson, Chris and Michael Ammott.
The Mainstreams just don't know what they're missing out on, do they?
Annnnnndddddd, This post is dedicated to Thahirah, because her heart throb is in it. Hahahaha.
Okay. I'm Done.
Saturday, May 16, 2009{ 9:22 am }
Okay. Here I am updating. School's been fine this week except for the part where I got D for science. -.- Well, basically the problem statement for that week was a physics one and you guys should know how bad my physics is.
I did'nt get through the auditions for wind symphony. I'm not surprised la. I screwed up badly during auditions so I would need a miracle to ge through, but, the miracle did'nt happen. Don't really mind la. That leaves me with no IG now since I forgot to submit the online application. Rafi & Thahirah wanted me to go for the auditions for Jammerz arena. But, I'm still hesitating on whether I should go for the Auditions or not as I have no idea what song I want to sing. Frankly speaking, my vocal range ain't that high guys.
So, I changed my playlist, AGAIN. Thanks to Thahirah who got me hooked up to this oldies rock song by scorpions. My dad was like "you're listening to scorpions?" Maybe he was shocked because it was a huge transistion from Necrophagist, Keep Of Kalessin, Arch Enemy and stuff to the band once my father went mad about. Hahahaha. It's still his car's playlist. My dad staying true to the genre siol! Hahahaha!
Okay, now on a serious note, basically, it represents what I'm feeling now la. I don't know why, but, yes, IT REPRESENTS WHAT I'M FEELING NOW, PERFECTLY! Now, I'm feeling very fickle-minded. It's like all this stupid feelings all mashed up as one. It's freaking frustrating for me, seriously. I really hate the moving on part in life manszx. It's like this freaking huge thing in your path that keeps holding you back from going through your journey in life. That's why I think ditching love was a good option for me. I try to keep thoughts that it's normal. & I'm the type of person who find it's hard to express my feelings. Maybe what Faez said the other day was true. I look emo nowadays. If this is what my life is gonna be, then, let it be. I'm set to looking forward to my education and other more important stuff, though it's hard.
Note to self: Never fall in love for now.
menunggu kedatanganmu, dalam sepasang kurung putihmu. Kenangan lalu, masih terpahat dalam hati. Walau pahit untukku lupakan, tetap harus ku tinggalkan. Pandangan jauh ke depan, tiada yang menghalangku lagi. Namun ku masih menunggumu, hatiku masih lagi sayu. Bagai sembilu menusuk di hati. Inilah kenyataan bagiku. Salam sayangku kepadamu.
Alamak. Jiwang la pulak. -.-
That's it.
Eh, I forgot. I don't know whether that someone would read my blog, but, heck, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO LIJUN.
(:
I'm done.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009{ 8:17 pm }
Okay, my interview for wind symphony was pretty okay. I really really hope I'll get through. I mean like I never sign up for other IGs, so, wind symphony is my only hope. Although I messed up totally during the auditions. :P
Well, my day was quite okay today. I'm getting along well with anak-anak melayu of W35F. It's really nice being able to be friends with them. But, We'll be together for 1 semester, which is like 16 weeks? & now it's like already the 4th week of the academic year, which means there's only 12 weeks left. Still, I'm determined to establish a strong friendship with them, although among them I'm like the youngest?
Today was cognitive processes and problem solving Module. I'm with Ain, Siti and Mira this time. I'm pretty happy with the presentation today. We did well. Good job girls. (:
So after the day ended, we had a UT experience. But, my laptop gave me freaking problems so I can't log in to the UT clent. After that, did my RJ for a while. Then, went to TRCC for the interview. After the interview, went home straightaway since I need to do my RJ, quiz and evaluation. Rafi & Thahirah left earlier since Rafi can't wait to get his arch enemy's tyrants of the rising sun dvd. He's been talking about it since the morning. Haha.
Nenek bought for me Roti Prata for dinner as she can't cook as my house is now under renovation. The kitchen, in particular. After dinner, I managed to have a chat with the guys who'sdoing the demolition job. & they are pretty young, I must say. There's 3 guys basically and 2 of them are 18. & I'm like freaking shocked because they are 1 year older than me and they travelled a really long distance just to make sure that their families back home are able to eat. They really make me reflect about life, seriously. Most 18 year-olds here usually are still at school around this age, at times abusing the privillege they enjoy & there they are, being so young and doing hard labour just to make sure their families won't get hungry.
Well, that's all for now.
That's it. I'm done.
Sunday, May 10, 2009{ 6:14 pm }
Okay. So I need to come down for auditions tomorrow and I'm like so freaking nervous manszx. Gosh. I really want to join the wind symphony! ): Ross roy or Ponyo for audition piece, one sight reading piece, a few scales. The shitty thing is, I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER A SINGLE THING. gotta pray hard manszx. Really, really hoping to get a spot.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009{ 2:54 pm }
Okay. I'm currently freaking tired now due to yesterday's RP wind symphony tune-in session. I arrived home at 9.40 manszx. What you freaking expect? But, overall, the tune-in session was totally freaking awesome ah.
As I said, I enjoyed the tune-in session with the wind symphony. Tune-in pieces were to totally rad. Ross Roy and the theme song of some old cartoon called "mighty mouse" (Was the piece named "Antonio" or "Romeo" or Pornio"? :X ) Made a few friends along the way. And a few who were lookalikes. One looked like one of my friends in Sydney while one looked like Kak Aishah (my cousin). LOL. So basically I played the third trombone part. Typical of me to get that part. Haha. LOL. The band was friendly and the conductor was fun. But, the practice room was small and they could not accept all the applicants so we have to come back for auditions and interviews. I really hope I can get through because there are no other IGs that I am interested in. Some also is because of my operation, so I can't join any sport IGs. So freaking frustrating manszx. I should have went for dikir barat as an alternative. But, It's too late. -.-
1st classic vid. Weishan's totally comical in this.
finally, THE RED DEVILS ARE ON THE WAY TO ROME BAYBEHHHH!
That's it. I'm Done.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009{ 9:50 am }
Tune-in session with RP wind symphony later @ TRCC conference room.
Can't fucking wait! :D
Monday, May 04, 2009{ 4:43 pm }
Okay. I'm in school now. There was freaking maths module today & I don't understand a single shit. I'll prolly get dergraded for this manszx. I really need time to restart the maths engine in my freaking brain! Haha.
So, I've been going for lunches with my new classmates nowadays. Decided to do so, since they voiced out I rarely eat lunch and mingle with them. So there, I went lunch with them. Haha. & today was the beginning of the new era where we start taking our temperatures everyday at school. There return the days where we need to bring the freaking thermometer ever single day, or risk getting fined 5 bucks. The bottom line is this, We're taking precautions for the bloody SWINE FLU . Just a virus and it can cause havoc around the world. A virus that we cannot see with a naked eye, can lead someone to their grave.
AND, my wound is freaking hurting me! Thanks to Marcus & his NO APPENDIX joke. ( very funny. ) -.- So I had to be dependant on my painkillers last night as it was hurting so bad. I barely scraped through school today thanks to that, since i can't take the painkillers as it'll cause drowsiness. Every now and then, there'll be a very sharp pain at the wound. The thing is, it will attack out of a sudden & that's why I could not stand the pain.
